


Milk and Honey.

by TacoTuesday



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Age Difference, Bad Parents, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Hints at eating disorders, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, May/December Relationship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sons of Anarchy is Its Own Warning, Warnings May Change, mentions happy/OFC, ofc is a tease
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:33:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29201391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TacoTuesday/pseuds/TacoTuesday
Summary: Winnie Morrow had spent much of her life torn between a custody battle; jumping between her mother's, her father's, and foster parents more times than she'd care to count. Her need for her father's love, far from the bitterness of her mother, finds her in Charming; past hidden by the thin veil of smoke, and future determined by the distinct leather of the Sons. She returns for a home, and family; and finds so much more in the softness of a Scotsman.--I am getting through the Sons, so forgive me if some things are wrong. I just had to get this out of me. It's also inspired a little by Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur.This has now been made available on Wattpad.
Relationships: Chibs Telford/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	1. Nothing is safer than the sound of you reading out loud to me

**Author's Note:**

> the perfect date, page 47  
> Milk and Honey.

Winnie's legs crossed as she lent back in her seat, lips pursed, icy blue eyes searching the lot. Mom had her shipped halfway across the states just to get her away from him, and now? Winnie crawled back like a dog with its tail between its legs. 

Most of her teenhood had been spent being argued over; lawyers, custody battles, social services when things didn't go either way. She'd spent half her time hopping between houses; mother's, father's, Foster parents... Her mother hated her father more than anything; knocking her up, kicking her out, demanding to be part of her life - change her thought process. 

Win had put it off long enough anyway, heading out here. The drive long overdue thanks to college, the money he sent to a personal bank account being able to pay for that. Daddy always did have a weak spot for his little girl, especially when the judge had it ruled he couldn't have her. Tried to mask the pain with money, hidden trips, and gifts every holiday - whatever she asked for. 

Long fingers locked around the cigarette, smoke blowing out from between her red lips as she frowned. These things tasted like shit, the hit not quite packing like it used to; dunno why she kept it up, maybe something to just keep her busy, let her reflect on life. A tickle trailed along her forehead, dripping down her cheek and onto her shirt, eyes dropping to it. Her forehead was slick with sweat, hand reaching up to swipe it away. Why was it so fuckin' hot here? The sun hitting the tarmac, heat sizzling above. Disgusting. 

Hands tugged back her pale hair, dropping the oversized shades over her eyes as she pulled on the car door, a rush of a warm breeze touching her skin. Winnie sighed, shutting the car door with her ass, leaning against the side. Taking the last quick puffs of her cigarette, she crushed it beneath the heel of her boot, and gazed around. 

Teller-Morrow Auto Shop. Hadn’t changed one inch - well, maybe in number of men in leather and bikes that surrounded it; the MC still sitting large next to it. Her jaw clenched; it'd be like finding a needle in a fucking haystack if members lingered inside. She hadn't seen him in a while, the occasional meet up in a dinner somewhere in Western Texas; but other than that... Her lips pursed, red smearing where the cigarette had worn. 

Better get it over with, before someone else told him first. The click of heels crunched across gravel, hips swinging with a dangerous sway, as all eyes peeled to Win. 

Winnie knew how to fill a pair of jeans, tight waist and wide hips; thighs shapely. She could rival a coke bottle for her shape, as she reached up, shuffling the cups of her bra. Fashion had always been her thing, plain white top ending where her high waisted jeans began, the flair at the bottom making her seem taller with the right high heels. 

Half-sack's jaw dropped, Chibs frowning as he faced the prospect, eyes soon darting to where he looked as his hand came out, smacking at Juice and Tig. Winnie paid no mind, sending a teasing smile their way when she stepped past them completely. Cute, she thought, noting their jackets. Leather, Redwood, badges of status. She paused, maybe they'd know where he would be. Turning on her heel, she faced them, dropping the shades to let her gaze peer over the top. "Hi." She said softly. 

  
  


"Are you lost?" One of the youngest ones asked, tattooed either side of his mohawk. "Gorgeous girl like you. Don't often wander into a place like this." Adorable. She decided, retracting her earlier statement. Poor boy didn't know who he was dealing with. 

  
  


The dark, curly haired man pushed him, the younger boy losing his footing. "No, I'm exactly where I want to be." She drawled, southern accent too thick to be legal, but enough to send the blood rushing to their cocks. "I'm lookin' for someone, hopin' you could point me in the right direction." 

  
  


"It's not me, is it? Cause I'll go anywhere you want me to go." She smirked, the others rolling their eyes. 

  
  


"Jesus Christ, Juice, give it up - she ain't interested." The voice was thick with a Scottish accent, the smile raising on scarred cheeks as she faced an older man. Wasn't bad looking, but she didn't recognise him. "Let me take you in, see if I can point you in the right direction." 

  
  


She nodded thankfully to him, before smiling at the other four men. "Thank you, for your... services." Winnie teased, turning to join the man, and following after him; feeling the eyes on her back and rear as she left. 

  
  


Shit, Tig thought, shaking his head. "Who the fuck is that?" 

  
  


"I don't know, but I've got this strange feeling in my chest that I wanna propose to her." Juice uttered, half in love. The boys rolled their eyes, laughing at him. 

  
  


"I'm Chibs, by the way. Ya speak to someone about ya car?" He asked, turning down to glance at her. "We normally have a waitin' list, unless it's urgent." He saw her face, finding her head shaking. "Or is there a problem? Over charged by a mechanic? We try to be fair about the prices, but sometimes..." He shrugged. 

  
  


Winnie pushed up her shades, shaking her head. "No. No. I'm not here about the car." Though it could probably do with a service, and a tune up; piece was a hunk of junk. "I'm looking for Clay." 

  
  


He frowned. "Clay? What do you want with that old bastard?" She was an attractive girl, far too attractive for him. "Don't tell me ye got daddy issues?"

  
  


She huffed, snorting with laughter. "Somethin' like that." Always the fucking beautiful ones, Chibs resigned, staring down at her. Didn't give off the typical vibes; no short skirts, no overly dyed hair, or nose ring. "He been around?" 

  
  


"Yeah. Should be here today, probably in the main office." Winnie nodded. "He expectin' you?" 

  
  


Her head shook. "Sorta. Knows I'm drifting, thought to surprise him, drove halfway across the country to do it." Another look, Win kind enough to ignore them. She wasn't here to answer any questions. He took them through the garage, past the screaming of tools, and men working on cars. His hand stopped on the door, blocking her from entering as they neared the office. 

  
  


"So what? Ya want child support or something? Got a kid ya need paying for?" He asked, confused about this stick. What he could remember, Clay enjoyed very little on the road. There was no way he knocked this girl up. 

  
  


Winnie frowned, shaking her head. "No. Look, are you goin' to take me to Clay or not?" The ice turned to him, not out of anger but just frustration as she stared at him. "It hasn't been a pleasant drive, and I need to see him." 

  
  


"You're not putting him in any danger? Not asking for money?" Her head shaking. "Alright." He resigned, hand moving down from the door before pushing it open. Familiar blonde locks were sat on the chair, eyes searching the screen of the computer as Jax was slumped down, Kutte around his shoulders. 

  
  


He peered up, half annoyed but his brows shot up. "Win?!" He cried out, surprised. 

  
  


"Hi Big Brother." The Teller boy moved quickly, rushing over to embrace his little 'sister'. It'd been so long but he recognised her anywhere; cheekbones a dead giveaway. Chibs was taken back a few steps, brows furrowed, surprise filling his body. By daddy issues, she meant issues with Clay being her father. Holy shit. "Didn't expect to see you here, Chibs here was just taking me to Clay." 

  
  


Chibs shook his head. "Hang on here; brother?" He asked, confused as he looked between the two. 

  
  


Jax nodded, grinning widely with his arm thrown around her shoulders; the shorter girl just as excited. "Yeah, this is Clay's daughter, Winnifred." Clay had a daughter? Did the others know about this? Or was Chibs just left in the dark? That's what he got for being Scottish, didn't trust him with this information. Bastards, the lot of them. "Your mom finally let you go, huh?" 

  
  


Her smile didn't waiver, but her insides churned. "Somethin' like that. Ugh, it's so good to be home!" Her easy-going brother, her loving dad, protective step-mom... Made the drive all the more sweeter. 

  
  


This was all too weird for Chibs as he stepped away, throwing a glance back over his shoulder at the girl before hightailing it back to the boys; needing to know if they knew about her either. "You stayin'?"

  
  


"If he let's me," Winnie admitted. "Dunno where, didn't think that far ahead." 

  
  


Jax shrugged his head. "You know he'll have you here no matter what. Clay'll find you somewhere, don't worry." Easier said than done, she thought. "Let me go get him, tell him he's got a surprise." Winnie nodded. "Stay here, sit down; I'll be back." Jax left. 

  
  


Win glanced around, brows raising. "This place is a mess." She muttered to herself as she gazed around the small office. It was small and quaint, posters of naked women stuck to the wall, keys hanging on the other side. It smelt of oil, familiar to her nose as she settled in her seat. 

Clay always used to sit her on his knee in this chair when her mom had to pick her up from their regulated time; they'd wait as it got dark, him showing her the books of Harleys, Winnie always stealing his kutte. Then he'd have Gemma swing by to drop off some food, and watch crappy reruns on the TV in there. He was always so big to her, her whole body fitting in his arms, she never felt safer. 

And Winnie needed that safety now. 

She sat in the quiet of the office, the fan the only sound over the whizzing from the shop. It was peaceful, putting her shocked nerves at ease. This whole day was a mess, she should have known that. Winnie couldn't just waltz in and expect everything to be fine, she knew her father, and what position he held, but he'd always made an effort because she was his kid. 

  
  


She sighed, resting her head on her chin. "Hey, doll," a voice called out, Winnie turning to the sound as a head popped in. One of the men from earlier, except now he'd stripped back the leather and swapped it for a grey shirt. "Can you pass me in the 402 job keys?" He asked, motioning to the little hooks on the wall behind her. 

  
  


Win turned, nodding as she stood, eyes peering at the labels. Seemed to be a huge number of keys here, she thought, leaning in closer. Tig couldn't help but let his eyes dance lower, at the snugness of the jeans as her ass stuck out. Perfect curve, peachy, he'd love to see it in a thong. Her body turned again as keys rattled, forcing his eyes up as they hesitated at her chest, and then to distracted eyes. She hadn't seen him stare. Good. "These ones?" She asked, handing them over. 

  
  


Wide blue eyes nodded, smiling as his hand locked around them. "Yeah." He'd barely even glanced at them. "And that book there?" He pointed behind her again, Winnie turning clueless in the motion. A shaky breath left Tig's lips, blue blown black at the sight of her ass. Christ, who was she? 

  
  


Winnie grasped it. "What you need done with it?" 

  
  


"Turn to next Wednesday, can you write Jamerson in for twelve, need a new battery for Toyota Corolla - 1998." She marked it in quickly, blue eyes darting up at him.

  
  


"You gotta price?" Any price she named, he'd be hers. No, he thought, he was better than that - started to sound like Juice. 

  
  


Tig shook his head. "Just mark it for $1600, but put a star next to it." 

  
  


The icy blue sparkled. "That's a lot for a battery and labour costs." Batteries only cost $500, labour but a tenth of that. "What? Is it made of solid gold?" 

  
  


He smirked. "What? You a car expert or somethin'?" Winnie smiled, shaking her head as she drew a star. 

  
  


"I worked at a firm similar to this, I know my prices." Winnie only took the job because it made her feel closer to Clay, he'd had her hooked on the smell of oil and grease ever since she could remember. The blue darted across the pages, she could see other names, prices not as high, more level. "This one must be special." 

  
  


He lent against the door, clenching the keys in his hand. "Special enough to double the cost, yes. He owes us.” Ah yes, the garage tended to be a front for the club business at times. Winnie smiled, blue eyes like little jewels. “If you worked in a place like this before, a customer comes in here and asks how much a tuneup is? How are you going judge what to charge them?" 

  
  


"By their shoes." Good girl, he thought, impressed. "Prettier the shoe, prettier the wallet contents." And mostly, she got it spot on. The more jargon, the more confusion, the larger the bill. No one ever caught her out cause they expected her to be just another dumb blonde. 

  
  


"How long you work at the last place for? Teach you anything valuable?" The question struck her as odd, but Winnie shrugged. 

  
  


"Enough to handle books, deal with customers. Doesn't take a genius to write somethin' down." Skills could take her to any secretary job, basics was all she needed. 

  
  


Tig nodded again. "Know anything about cars? Bikes? Mechanics?" 

  
  


"A little, it's been a while." She admitted, looking down at the page once more. "Anythin' else you want me to put down, ...?" Winnie was lost for a moment, never having caught his name. 

  
  


"Tig." He offered. 

  
  


Winnie nodded. "Tig." She uttered, testing it on her tongue. She guessed it was a nickname? 

  
  


The way it rolled out of her mouth, his hand clenched on the frame. "No, to your earlier question." Her hands moved to close the book, putting it back where it was. "You just move here? Chibs, uh, filled me in on Clay." No way did she come from Clay's ball sack, far too pretty. And untouchable. 

  
  


He had a lot of questions, she thought, staring at him. "Don't know yet, Jax's sortin' somethin' out for me." His brows rose, but nodded; the door opening again. The large, familiar figure of her father stepped in; grey hair trimmed short, leather kutte around his shoulders. 

  
  


A grin broke across her lips, face lighting up at the sight. "Bee!" He cried out, Winnie jumping into his arms. Her feet left the floor, twirling her as he squeezed. "When Jax said he had a surprise, I didn't expect it to be you!" He'd missed her to the moon and back. 

  
  


"Hi, Pops." He set her back down, pushing back the pale strands as he squeezed her cheeks. His little girl, right here in Charming. 

  
  


Clay looked up, shooting a weird look to Tig. "What are you doing here? Get back to the garage." He was interrupting a moment here. 

  
  


He nodded, a chuckle slipping from his smirk. "Got it. Was just getting..." Fuck, he didn't know her name. "Sweet tits here," Sweet tits? She thought, frowning. He must not value his balls. "To do the books." 

  
  


Clay looked between them. "Thin ice, Tig." He warned, Tig throwing up his hands. "And you know how to run books? My books?" He asked as he turned to Winnie. 

  
  


"Basics." She confirmed. "Simple filing, cheat sheet of costs, and organising keys." He knew she had a job in an auto shop before, she couldn't imagine it'd be that different. 

  
  


"Alright. You can stay here and run books while we’re away." Her brows rose, really? "You'll have to deal with these shit heads." 

  
  


Tig's jaw dropped. "Speak for yourself, Clay. I'm a fucking delight." The older Patriarch rolled his eyes before shooing him out, Tig throwing a wink over his shoulder to her, sending her into a small fit of giggles. 

  
  


"Gemma's on her way over, doesn't know you're here." Win smiled. She couldn't wait to see Gemma, it'd been far too long, with far too much distance. "You really sure you wanna stay round, Kid? You speak to your mom?" 

  
  


The smile dropped. "She thinks I'm in El Paso, don't want her to know." Clay sighed, shooting her a pointed look. "I know. I know. I should tell her, it's just, she's two bricks short of a load. I can't-" There were some other things too, but Clay definitely didn't need to know about that. 

  
  


"Baby, it's fine. What your mother don't know, won't hurt her." The relief was instant, shoulders falling as the weight lifted. "You planning on staying long?" 

  
  


The wide eyes only grew wider. "If you'll have me, I know this is rather impromptu." 

  
  


Clay shrugged, slinging an arm around her. "You know you've always got a place here, can set up a room with me and Gemma or you can stay here with Jax." Here? Her brow raised. "Don't gimme that look, they may be shitheads but it'll probably be the safest place till you can find a place of your own." 

  
  


"You want me around for that long?" Permanent place? She'd happily have that. Being with her family, finding a place far from her mom, and away from all the bullshit. Winnie was in no disillusion over just what her father did, what bribes he'd pay for certain privileges; just more security. 

  
  


He laughed. "Baby bee, I want you around always; you know that." And she did. "I fought hard for you, and I lost. And that's a big regret of mine, but now that you're here, I want to make up for lost time." 

  
  


Her heart swelled, a smile growing on Winnie's face. "I love you, dad." 

  
  


"I love you too, Win."


	2. Love knows life has been hard enough already

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “love will come  
> and when love comes  
> love will hold you  
> love will call your name  
> and you will melt  
> sometimes though  
> love will hurt you but  
> love will never mean to  
> love will play no games  
> cause love knows life  
> has been hard enough already  
> \- Milk and Honey, page 54

Winnie stood in Gemma’s kitchen, eyes trailing over the buffet of food as she shot her step-mother a look, brow raising. Last time she stood here, she’d been invited to a similar buffet, food having decked every surface. And from the looks of it, the food hadn’t changed that much. Huge trays of mashed potato, piles of meat left to cool, and vegetables freshly steaming in the bain marie. “I remember the last dinner party I went to where you hosted.” Half of them ended up being sick. 

  
  


Gemma shot her a look, stirring a bubbling pot, cigarette sitting in the other hand as she puffed on it. “Hey! I’ve improved since then. My dinner parties are something of a success.” That would be the day. 

  
  


“A success, eh? Gemma Teller, Queen of Biker Boy Criminals, and Dinner Parties.” She teased, the jest light but enough to send her dark eyes rolling, head shaking as she stared at her daughter. Little bitch, Gemma thought, not meaning it in the slightest as Win lent against the side, reaching for her own pack of smokes. 

  
  


“Bite me.” 

  
  


She reached for a lighter, lighting it before sitting up on the counter, hand reaching for a roll. “Might have to with your cooking.” Winnie squished it in her hand, finding it soft on the inside. Gemma shook her head again, smirking as the girl began to tear it apart, pulling little chunks of bread out before biting into them. If she hadn’t been wearing heels long enough to twist an ankle, and lipstick in hooker red; Winnie could have easily passed for that little five year old that used to sit on her counters in yellow sundresses and roller skates. 

  
  


“Jesus christ, you haven’t changed one bit.” She muttered, the icy blue lifting up. Winnie shrugged, going back between a drag of the cigarette and a bite of the roll. “See you picked up your mother’s habits.” 

  
  


“Cigarette and bread binge?” She asked, nodding as she placed down the empty half, moving to the next. Maybe Gemma wasn’t so bad with the food, but she was only tasting the bread. “Yeah, helped me through my exams a lot.” And when she’d run out of money. 

  
  


Gemma shook her head, sighing. “You gotta knock that shit off, I’m not going to shove my hand down your throat to force feed you either.” She warned, Winnie nodding. 

  
  


“Got it.” Gemma pursed her lips, but let it slide; stirring the pot again. “Just the club tonight?” 

  
  


“Yeah. Clay thought it’d be a good idea to introduce you, some of the boys are already asking questions.” About why she’d been gone for so long, probably. Gemma saw the look, her hands tugging at the bread hurriedly. “Don’t worry, they’ll be on their best behaviour. You know Clay wouldn’t have any of their shit.” 

  
  


She knew that. “Yeah, I’m just not sure about meeting so many people, you know.” 

  
  


Gemma hesitated. “They’re only Clay’s friends, they’re close.” Yeah, Win got that. “Is there something going on, Win? Is that why you’re back?” The ice lifted again, staring deep in the brown as she shook her head. Liar, Gemma thought. “Clay told me you haven’t spoken to your mom, why’s that?” 

  
  


Winnie shrugged. “Same reason as usual.” 

  
  


“Little Miss Charming is still a bitch?” The nod confirmed it. “What about Step dad? Thought he was supposed to be God’s gift.” God’s bitch, maybe. Satan’s little devil spawn, the man walked and spoke pure evil. Her back shivered, hand throwing down the bread roll; stomach churning. 

  
  


“No different.” She muttered, Gemma pursing her lips. That was the reason. Winnie slipped down from the counter, landing on her heels with barely a wobble before she turned to outside. “I’m going to get some fresh air, let me know if you need any help.” Gemma let her go without a qualm, hands shifting to find her phone. She needed to speak to Clay. 

  
  


Winnie kicked back against the wall of the house, teeth digging into her lip, eyes searching out the front. The sun was threatening to dip down, stretches of orange, pink, and red clouds spanning across the tops of the low bungalows. Something beautiful about the evening sky, the heat having died down somewhat to something more comfortable. Pink flamingos, splashing of tiny waterfalls, and solar lights decorated the green grass, sprinklers tutting as they sputtered water along the verge. 

Everything was a tiny suburban paradise, no doubt women peering from their windows with apron clad bodies to stare at the bikes that would stream along the roads. Shiny cadillacs, SUVs, and Hybrids the norm - not the roar of a powerful engine. Win stubbed the butt out onto the head of a stone parrot, dropping it down between the wooden boards of the front porch before moving to the swing seat. 

She wondered, as she watched a woman pop out, little duck egg blue watering can in hand make her way along her hedges; pulling snips from her pocket to cut at an overly rebellious rose. What would life be like to be that kind of woman? To frown upon anyone that didn’t fit the mould, to kiss her husband at the doorway. Win’s eyes dropped to the little kitten heels, a brow raising without meaning at the small height. She could never. 

The roar of a bike cut through the quietness, any peacefulness disturbed as a small rally of them began to pull in. She could see her father, Clay sitting in front, leading them; followed by Jax and Tig…? She wasn’t so sure about the names as a neat row of bikes began to pull up; starting at the drive before spilling out onto the sidewalk; helmets pulled from heads. 

  
  


Win straightened herself, smiling as Clay led them up; taking the small steps to her. “Hi, baby.” He greeted, Winnie pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Gemma inside?” Nodding, he pulled away, entering. 

  
  


The next to join her was Jax, his arms wrapping around her before tugging her up; her lips pressed to his cheeks. “Lil Sis.” 

  
  


“Jax.” She teased, before letting him go. Tig stood expectedly, Win rolling her eyes as he leaned forward, cheek ready for a kiss. “Hi, Tig.” Winnie pressed a light kiss to his cheek, the man straightening back up. 

  
  


“Hi, doll. Sorry about the sweet tits.” He apologised, holding up the line. Winnie shrugged it off, letting him move on. 

  
  


Chibs was next, his hand already reaching for her waist before pressing a kiss to her forehead, Winnie’s eyes closing for but a moment. “Welcome home, love.” Win grinned, eyes sparkling. Home it was indeed. “Buffet or planned dinner?” Always the important question. 

  
  


Win had to let him down easy. “Buffet.” 

  
  


He groaned, turning to the others. “Hear that boys, buffet night.” A series of whines erupted from the others, Winnie raising her brow. 

  
  


“Something always turns the tummy.” One of the older men warned, crazy curls framing his face as he held out a hand. “Bobby.” She remembered meeting him a few years back; less curls and at least a hundred pounds lighter. Seemed happier now. 

  
  


“Winnie.” She greeted, shaking it back. “Sorry to let you all down.” 

  
  


Bobby shrugged, holding his belly. “I know.” He mentioned, hand pointing as though her name lingered in the space between them. “Ain’t your fault, just got to hope Piney don’t overdo it.” With another shake, he left them, Piney trailed after him, oxygen tube beneath his nose as he gave her a nod. She definitely remembered him, the odd phone call coming her way every other year just to check in. 

  
  


“Half-Sack!” Chibs called out, a scrawny boy with light hair stepping up. “Toilet duty tomorrow, lad!” Whoever Half-Sack was, she felt sorry for him. Her eyes dropped to his kutte, seeing the little prospect badge. “Bring bleach, you’ll need it for yer eyes.” A round of laughter burst out, pats hitting his back. 

  
  


He sighed. “I swear, you’ve given me this job for the past three weeks. The man shits like a sewage pipe.” Chibs nodded, throwing his arm over his shoulder. 

  
  


“You’re prospect! That’s ya job!” Chibs led him inside, the man Juice pressing a kiss to her cheek as he left. All of them were friendly, her smile growing with each one she met. Winnie didn’t need to be worried about meeting them all, they were brothers, they cared for each other like a family. 

  
  


The last man stood before her, the face far too familiar as he opened his arms. “Still got a hug left in ya for me?” Happy Lowman, a man her father had often sent to the SAMTEX charter to check in on her; and one she had crossed the line with one too many times. 

  
  


“Hap.” She greeted, stepping into familiar arms with her arms wrapped around his neck. He squeezed, tugging her against him, and cradling her head. 

  
  


“See you finally made it home, good to see you here.” He mumbled, burying himself in his neck like he used to. 

  
  


Winnie softened, nodding. “Yeah, should thank you for that.” If it wasn’t for Happy, she’d still be stuck in that stupid house, listening to Mr and Mrs Perfect. “What you told me to do worked.” He pulled back slightly, dark eyes boring into hers. 

  
  


“That worked, but seems you got yourself into other trouble.” The ice widened. How did he hear about that? “I’m not gonna rat - but you gotta set this right.” 

  
  


Winnie hissed, shaking her head. “Set this right?” How could she set right  _ that _ ? “Happy, there is nothing that can set that right.” 

  
  


The dark brow darted between the ice, not softening. “There’s always something to set that right.” Murder, mayhem, and torture. “If you want something to be done about it, I’ll do it - you know that.” 

  
  


Winnie nodded, shifting nervously in his arms. “I know, Hap.” He’d do anything for her. His eyes darted to her lips, head threatening lower before she placed her hand on his chest, shaking her head. “Think about Lol; we’re not in Texas, and I’m not just another girl in a different place.” Anywhere else she would be Winnie Maddock, but here, they only ever called her Winnie Morrow. 

  
  


The softness in his eyes turned hard, head nodding. “I know, just hard to remember sometimes.” Win nodded, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You were mine for a time.” 

  
  


“And I’m not anymore. Lol’s a sweet girl, there’s a reason you came back for her.” He sighed, but nodded again, keeping his arm around her waist as he began to tug her inside.

  
  


Before they reached the door, his hand hesitated. "You mind if I say I got a claim on you - boys are getting suspicious." Right. He wanted Lol far away from any motorcycle club; less people that knew the better. 

  
  


Win frowned. "Just keep it from Clay, yeah?" He nodded, the two in an understanding. The pair emerged into the dining room, smiles on their faces as they saw this makeshift family laughing and toying with one another, crying out in jests as they waited. Two seats were left, Happy leading her to them before Winnie slipped in, Chibs watching from beside her. 

  
  


"Right, now that my baby has joined the table," Gemma began, raising her glass as she faced them all. Silence falling around them. "I just wanted to welcome her home with the warmest welcome she could have," the hands began to slam around the table, her cheeks growing flushed. "Especially after so long without us; Clay's little girl, Winnie." Chibs patted her on the back, the boys hooting as Jax grinned at her. 

  
  


"It’s not that big of a deal.” She tried to ease, but the boys were having none of it as they shook their heads, contesting it. 

  
  


Gemma nodded, Clay grinning over at her. “Boys are right, this is a big deal. Finally, you’re in Charming where you belong, with family. And if those Duggen fuckers try to drag you back, the Sons’ll show them where to go.” Win rolled her eyes, but leaned back against Happy’s arm, nodding her head. “Let’s celebrate.” 

  
  


Gemma kept her eye on Winnie’s plate, dark eyes shifting from Happy to Win, watching as he placed the food on her plate for her. Her hand fell on his forearm, halting him with a shake of her head as he went to place down another potato. Gemma’s chin rose, lips pursed. “You see that?” She muttered to Clay. He turned, brow raised, curious. “Picked up little miss Charming’s tactics.” 

  
  


Clay’s head whipped around fast, finding Winnie mash the chilli into the potato, pressing it down with the back of her fork. They were tactics beauty queens would use to keep the weight off, but make it look as though they were still sustaining themselves - no questions if people saw half the plate was cleared, and just a pile of mash on the other. “I’ll make her sit down for breakfast tomorrow, spend all day there if I have to.” He promised, seeing the tension ease in Gemma’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, she’s home. Her momma can’t touch her here.” 

  
  


Gemma raised her brows, looking away. “Just wait until she catches wind, ‘Forella’ will soon come back.” And that’ll be the day. Win wasn’t a kid they could fight over anymore; she was old enough to go where the road took her. And that took her right here to him. 

  
  


“We’ve got her baby, that’s all that matters.” That it does, Gemma thought, watching her again. 

  
  


Happy nudged Winnie, sending her a warning glance as she began to shuffle her potato again; toying with it. Didn’t feel like risking stomach poisoning - especially if all the guys were also on guard. Win sighed, but grabbed a mouthful of sweetcorn, bringing it to her lips before munching. She was rewarded with a squeeze of her leg; and he a roll of her eyes. They were much too understanding of each other; she noted, peering up. “So, ah, how long you know each other?” Tig asked, curious; motioning between them. 

  
  


Happy shrugged, face stoic as he faced his brother. “You know, used to be sent to SAMTEX to watch over her. Been  _ friends  _ for a while.” The boys' closest eyes flickered up, focusing on the two as Win flushed again. 

  
  


Tig smirked. “ _ Friends _ , eh?” Happy nodded. This wasn’t what she meant when she agreed to being together, she said not in front of Clay. The ice darted to ones similar, finding him deep in conversation with Gemma as he spoke. 

  
  


Her eyes snapped back. “SAMTEX was very  _ accommodating  _ in my time there; your charter brothers sure knew how to care for a girl.” Chibs coughed, choking on his beer as Tig’s eyes bugged, and Half-Sack and Juice whipped around, certain at what she said. Winnie smirked, shrugging her shoulders. 

  
  


“Very accommodating…?” Tig mentioned, brows raising. “As in…?” 

  
  


Winnie turned, looking over at Gemma, the step-mom nodding at her. “I need to get some fresh air, do you mind?” 

  
  


Her head shook. “Take the plate with you, you’ve hardly touched your food.” Win smiled before standing, taking it in one hand before leaving them behind. 

  
  


Winnie smiled as she stretched her legs out, body nestling further into the chair as she nursed her bottle of beer. She loved being home, the place she always should have been; mom was wrong to take her from here. The plate beside her had long grown cold, but hunger won, and she stifled a few mouthfuls, playing with the bread again. The back door opened again, Tig entering before being closely followed by Juice, and Half-Sack; mischief in their eyes. “So, when you said SAMTEX had been very accommodating - what did you mean by that?” The question seemed innocent enough, but she could see the hidden glee in the boys’ eyes, the smirk that sat on Tig’s and Juice’s lips as she dared a glance over. 

  
  


“What I mean is that they were very accommodating… When it was sunny, they’d offer me to stand out there in a bikini, they’d watch me for my protection while I was doing it too. Sometimes they’d rub in the sunscreen, other times their hands would slip beneath my top because my nipples…” Her head shook, faux disbelief in her gaze. “They’d get so hard, they’d just have to be warmed up.” The groan was accidental, Tig covering his mouth almost instantly as he flushed red; Winnie laughing. “I like to make it my mission to fuck one man from every charter - show them just how thankful Clay really is.” Tig and Juice’s eyes met. 

  
  


She already knew the question before it came tumbling from his lips. “You, uh, made your mind on who you’re choosing from this charter?” 

  
  


Oh, sweet, dumb boys. Winnie shook her head, barely able to bite back the laughter as her eyes lightened. “Well, I’ll need a thorough inspection before I make my choice. One man, out of how many?” 

  
  


Tig nodded, glancing down for a moment as he thought; Juice stepping. “So what kind of things do you look for? During this inspection?” No way were they buying this, she thought, shaking her head. Clay had already forbade anything happening with her no doubt, even though he’d trust her life with them over anyone else in this world. “Curiosity's sake.” 

  
  


She shrugged. “Oh, you know. Confident, ruggedly sexy, amazingly good with their hands. Helps when they respect their women, and…” The blue looked coy. “Treats her like an animal in bed.” 

  
  


Juice frowned. “But how do you know that? By just looking at them?” 

  
  


Winnie nodded eagerly. “Oh yes, first five seconds and I can already tell.” Their brows raised, as though she had truly blown their mind. She giggled, sitting back. 

  
  


“And… Happy…? He had this?” Their eyes all looked in, finding him still stoic, stabbing at his meat. She wanted to laugh. 

  
  


“Oh yes; he’s oozing it, something about that… Emotionless, throw you over his knee type.” 

  
  


Juice pointed a thumb behind him, motioning to the doors. “That Happy?” Her head nodded, smirk sat on her lips. They stood, leaving quickly as they left in hushed whispers; a low laugh slipping from her lips as she shook her head. They’d believe anything. Half-Sack looked over to her, curious. “You really do all that? Sleep with people from other charters?” 

  
  


Winnie shook her head. “Sometimes, Half-Sack, you gotta get your kicks where you can. I’d never do anything to hurt this club, but that doesn’t mean I won’t fuck with it.” He laughed, a little nervous as Winnie went back to gazing outside. “Go on, I’m okay out here alone - go join the boys, let ‘em pick on you a little more, it’ll help you fit in.” She told him, smiling slightly. Half-Sack left her to sit out on the porch, eyes closing at the gentle silence of it. 

Darkness had slipped around her, the little lights Gemma kept in the backyard illuminating the rare foliage that chose to grow underneath the basking Californian sun. Winnie loved it here, halfway to heaven nestled in the strong scent of ceanothus and lavender. Her hand reached out for her pack of cigarettes, fingers flicking the lid as she pulled one out. 

  
  


Resting it between her lips, she fumbled for her light before raising it to the stick, and lighting. Shit, she thought, popping open her eyes before gazing around. Ashtray. “Here,” The deep drawl of Scottish brought the icy blue up, Chibs leaning in with a makeshift pot, ash and dogends already sitting inside it. 

  
  


Winnie reached out, taking it. “Thanks, uh, I didn’t hear you step out here.” She muttered before offering her pack to him, Chibs taking one easily before swiping her lighter. 

  
  


“Light on my feet.” He teased, throwing himself into the chair next to her. “How long you been gone? Can’t imagine Clay let you go easily.” Their eyes met, lazy grins on both of their faces. 

  
  


She shook her head, blonde brushing against her chin. “He didn’t, it was a lengthy custody battle from the age of six to sixteen; mom pulled me from Charming at eleven.” Win hated thinking about it, the whole thing messy. From being pulled from her father’s arms kicking and screaming, to being bundled in the back of her mother’s car in the dead of night with the only knowledge that they had to see her dying Grandmother - it wasn’t until they pulled up outside Brian Duggen’s house that she realised she didn’t have a grandmother. 

  
  


His brows rose, head nodding in shock. “Didn’t speak about you much.” 

  
  


“His greatest secret.” She teased gently. 

  
  


He smiled. “Can see why. You’ve got half the guys going mad in there.” She chuckled, Chibs joining in. She was just fresh meat, unavailable and shiny. 

  
  


“It’ll wear off; just give it a few weeks, and a new set of Croweaters.” She muttered. Chibs watched her for a moment, her hand winding into her hair, lips wrapping around the cigarette again. He could see the beauty, but he could also see the danger that lingered in her eyes; every movement carefully calculated. A tongue flicked out, wetting her lip as she pulled the smoke away, red sitting along the tip as she looked over to him. 

  
  


He bit on the inside of his cheek, fingers tapping the tips against the wood. “Why didn’t he talk about you?” 

  
  


“Would you? I can only imagine Clay’s anger when he found out what my mother did.” Win flicked the ash, ashtray sitting on her lap. “Worst part was when they used his history against him; told him he couldn’t keep me because he had a criminal record. My Step father arranged everything.” He leaned over, flicking the ash into the tray too, his body closer than before. 

  
  


She could see the grey that threatened at his temples, an odd strand hanging over his forehead. Winnie reached up, pushing it back for him, cigarette smoke enveloping them. Just a tender moment, enough for her to truly open her eyes to see him. He was just a man, curious about the world, with a love for those around him. Chibs grasped her wrist, squeezing it. “My daughter’s in the same position, same as her mother. He won’t let them go.” Hurt swam in the warmth of his eyes, the two a stark contrast against one another. 

  
  


Winnie squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry about that, hopefully one day, they’ll figure something out.” He nodded, looking away before stubbing his cigarette butt, getting rid of it completely. 

  
  
“Yeah, me too.” And he left, Winnie left to mull over her thoughts. 


	3. The sky staring down at us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you really believe fate works like that. as if it lives in the sky staring down at us. as if it has five fingers and spends its time placing us like pieces of chess.  
> \- Page 76

Winnie had hardly slept, her mind rushing over and over as she stared up at the ceiling. The soft snores of Clay and Gemma interrupted whatever silence she had, the birds ruffling every one in a while. She hated sleeping, but she hated the lead up more. The constant waiting for an ever reclusive tiredness to take hold, having to keep her mind from falling too far from the normal. 

It had been weeks since she last saw her mother, and before long, both Forella and Brian would get suspicious. She just wished she had enough time before that happened, that maybe she could set herself up here. Then neither would be able to touch her; and the cops couldn’t be called. Winnie shuffled, huffing as she pulled the duvet tighter around her shoulders. She should just resign, call it a night, and give up on the potential of sleep; it wouldn’t come. 

Eyes peered to the phone that sat on the side, her hand reaching out before plucking it up; clicking through the contacts. She could see Happy’s name, guilt swarming her as she thought on it. He was her closest friend, confidant, and ex-lover. Scrolling past, her eyes landed on another name, and smirked.

_ Get ready in 5, I'm picking you up _

The message was short and sweet, he'd already know who it was from. Winnie pulled back, slamming the phone shut before biting down on her lip and standing. The oversized shirt and pair of panties would be alright for a quick ride, the drive-thru close for a snack and a drink. 

Grasping her keys and phone, a little stash of notes in her hand; Winnie set off. The chill brushed against her bare legs as she hopped into the driver's seat, starting the engine and closed the door. She sighed, breathing air into her lungs as Winnie opened the window. 

By the time she pulled up to the small house, a cigarette was sat between tight lips, hair scraped back, and glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose. She looked a mess as the burly man peered in, shaking his head before pulling on the door. Ope had hardly changed since the last time she'd seen him, maybe more hairy and muscular but still the same boy she'd grown up with. Winnie smiled. "Missed you at dinner last night, thought you'd be there." 

  
  


"Donna thought it was club work, doesn't want me around that." Win nodded, pushing on the gas as they peeled away. "You look like shit." 

  
  


"Rich talk coming from you." Her eyes darting over him just to tease. "Gained a few?" 

  
  


He snorted. "Yeah, between Prison meals and Donna's cooking; hardly enough to gain weight." They smiled. "Didn’t think you'd ever make it back here, with your old man and all that.

  
  


"Good thing we're heading for something to eat." Ope had always been a big brother to her, even more than Jax was. She called him when she had troubles, and he did the same back. They were thick as thieves. 

  
  


"Was surprised you came back, thought you'd stay in Birmingham." The smirk answered everything, head shaking. 

  
  


Birmingham, hell no. "You're kidding right?" He smiled. Course. "They think I'm in El Paso, anyway. Working as a nurse." 

  
  


Ope looked surprised, laughter falling from his lips before he could hold it back. "Nurse, huh? Really working into that good girl image." Good girl image? Brian's perfect woman perhaps. 

  
  


Winnie shook her head, pushing him. The drive-thru sat just up ahead, lights calling out to her. "Very funny. But, you really going straight? Must be hard between you and Jax." 

  
  


He shrugged. "Harder between me and Donna." Opie muttered, his tone down. "I got kids I have to feed, not enough money to feed 'em with. She's working full time - and doesn't need to worry about me heading back in." 

  
  


"I'm not judging you, Ope. Club is rough business, but don't forget they're your family too." She reminded, pulling up behind the waiting cars. It was three am, why was there a queue? "If you need food, you know Gemma will always help you out." 

  
  


Ope shook his head, brushing back mousey strands. "I don't want to, you know. I wanna be the one to provide; we'd have enough if it wasn't for the debt." 

  
  


"That bad?" He nodded. "I can always help, if you need me to. I don't have much, but I won't need it all right now." He went to protest, but she held out her hand, shaking her head. "Consider it little sister tax, I'm just trying to help my nieces and nephews." 

  
  


"No. I can't. You've just moved here, you've got your own debts to work out." Win sighed, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to pick up another job, work when I get the days off." 

  
  


Always a proud man. "Just don't work yourself to the bone, Ope. Money ain't worth it, especially when you can return to the club for double the pay, and half the hours." He nodded, still silent as he glanced at his hands. "Now tell me what you want, my treat - and make sure it's all you want, I'm not going round twice." 

  
  


The chuckle eased any tension sitting in the car, the pair laughing. "One time in Odessa, you really can't drop that?" 

  
  


"Odessa and the rest; I think that place in Dallas got three." Sonic was a deep weakness, she knew part was due to the girls on roller skates. 

  
  


Opie moaned, nodding his head at the taste. "You can say that again; think I ate enough cheeseburgers to feed a small family." The ice shot him a look. "And their dogs. Every time they'd serve slop at the prison, I'd think of them burgers, would almost think I could taste them amongst that mystery meat." 

  
  


Winnie pulled up to the speaker, quickly giving their order before driving on. "Don’t forget, the nearest one is only an hour drive. I'm happy to take it with you." 

  
  


He laughed. "You'll wanna go through three times again?" She shrugged, smirking. Winnie would go in a heartbeat. "You, me, and the bike. We'll go on the weekend." 

  
  


"Just make sure it's not raining." Win pulled up to the next window, passing in the dollars before shaking away the change, slipping it into the little charity box. "I'd hate to get my hair wet." 

  
  


"Used to run around in the rain after us, never used to care about your hair then." Had mud covering her from toes to elbows, too. "This suits you though, uni seems to have changed you. Still got mom issues?" 

  
  


Her smile dropped as she reached the next window, grasping the bag from an outstretched hand. "Thanks." She muttered before Winnie pulled up into the car park, cutting the engine. The weight of Ope's eyes on her prickles at her skin, warmth flooding her cheeks. "I'm trying - really I am; I'm better than I was. It's just hard to forget everything that was frilled into you since you were a kid." 

  
  


Ope sighed but nodded. "Still going to therapy?" She shot him a look, eyes cutting into him. "Take that as a no." 

  
  


"Never helped anyway. Those girls are actually struggling - doing it to themselves; I'm not like that." Mom was just a dumb fuck who didn't want anyone happy. 

  
  


"Not judging," he told her, raising his hands. "And I know you're trying, you ordered medium rather than small." Winnie snorted, offering him the bag. "What are you going to do now you're here then?" 

  
  


She shook her head, biting her lip as she reached for her bag of fries. Winnie was slow to chew, mulling over her options on what to do now she was here. "Dad's offered me a job at the auto shop, so that'll do for now. I'll try what I can with getting somewhere stable…" Win frowned. "Didn't really give it much thought." 

  
  


Just got in her car once she'd received the all clear from Happy. "Now that really doesn't sound like you. Leaving your mom sure, returning here sure, but no plan? No job? Thought you were set up in El Paso." 

  
  


"Was, Happy got me out." Now Ope raised in his seat, really looking at her. Lot of shit was going on, things not making sense. 

  
  


"Something going on there? I know you spoke before about… being together…" He asked. "You come here for him? Thought you were better than that." The questions grated against her, jaw tight. 

  
  


"No, Ope. I didn't. Happy gave me an opportunity because he loved me, saw what kind of shit I got myself into, and he found me a way out." Kind of shit? A single brow dropping down, confused about it. "He's got someone, a real sweet girl, I just offered to be a cover up." 

  
  


The eyes met, quietly munching on food. "What kind of shit did you get yourself into, Winnie?" Anything it was, he'd be by her side. 

  
  


Slowly a hand lowered, discarding the rest of her chips as her lip wobbled. "Nothing Happy and I can't handle, the least you know the better." 

  
  


Ope leaned in closer, serious as he looked at her. "You're like a sister to me, I love you. Whatever hurts you, hurts me. So tell me." 

  
  


The blue dropped down, pain tugging at her chest. "Really, Opie, I can’t. I can’t talk about this because it… it’s killing me.” She mumbled in defeat, shaking her head. “One day, just not today. Not when everything’s going perfect.” 

  
  


He swallowed, the sound echoing through the car as his heart beat loudly in his ears. “What do you think’s going to happen, Win? That if you speak it, it’s going to be here. You know that’ll never happen.” 

  
  


Winnie shrugged. “I don’t know,” She admitted, crossing her arms around herself. “But I don’t want to see you in jail again; that’ll happen if I tell you - same way it would happen to Jax.” Someone hurt her? Opie reached out, despite blind to whatever trouble she was in; and wrapped his arms around her. A hug, that’s all it was’ but it felt like so much more. So much warmth, and love being nestled in his arms as her eyes screwed shut, and she swallowed back the tears. This is all she needed. “Everything’ll be better now I’m home, promise.” 

  
  


“I’ll keep it a secret for now, but eventually, you’ll have to tell me.” Win knew that. 

  
  


“Just when I do, don’t get mad.” Opie nodded, but he couldn’t make any promises. The two sat and hugged it out as their hands continued to pick at the food; Opie’s arm around her shoulders, her head resting back on his. “How’s Piney taking you being distant with the Sons? He’s on oxygen right now.” Health seemed a little frail. 

  
  


Opie bit into his burger, the cheese making it as he closed his eyes, moaning. Win giggled. “You know, he’s in the cabin most of the time now. Doesn’t have room to complain.” Cabin? Piney always used to linger around the club. “Think he understands, after what happened.” 

  
  


“That a reason why you won’t go back to it? Besides, you know, Donna…” There were few things she understood, but being in that club - from the way Jax, Clay, and Opie spoke - it was more than just bikes, it was family, it was brotherhood. They trusted that above all else. 

  
  


Silence was her confirmation. “I did my time, missed important years of my kids life; I can’t do that again.” Five years was a long time, Win thought. “They hardly recognise me; Donna’s piled high with stress that I’m close to losing her.”

  
  


“You asked her for a divorce, didn’t you? Donna didn’t agree to that.” His brows rose in consideration; still not finding it a worthy point to note. “There’s love there Ope, promise you. You just gotta get through this rough patch - club might help with that, and she might just see that it’s not as bad as she thinks.” 

  
  


“That’ll be the day.” Winnie laughed. Course it would be. “You down to smoke or…?” 

  
  


“Maybe, might make swallowing down waffles at nine am a little easier. What time you gotta work?” They were already pushing 4am, sky lightening even more. Pink started settling along the horizon, shades of purple, and blue rising. 

  
  


He studied the numbers on the dash, shaking his head. “Ah, shit. Got work in an hour, we’ll, uh, do it on the weekend.” Sounded good; cheeseburgers, and weed. “You mind dropping me back?” 

  
  


“Nah, it’s fine.” Winnie agreed, sitting up before dumping her rubbish in the bag. “You think you can still drive after smoking? I’ll wanna get back in one piece.” The car rumbled beneath them, the engine sputtering to life. 

  
  


Opie laughed. “Course. Driven that motorcycle stoned from the age of fourteen to now; easier driving it then too.” A snort of a giggle, hand dipping into her hair as she pushed the strands back. “Just don’t let me crossfade, then we will be in shit street.” 

  
  


“No alcohol for you, got it. I’m more than happy to twist my wires.” Fingers dug into her side, a grin spread across her lips as she shook her head. “You wanna invite Jax? It could be the three of us, just like it used to be.” Dark eyes twinkled, gazing over as Win drove through the streets expertly. 

  
  


Nothing felt better than the bumps in the road, the smoothness as she pushed her foot against the pedal a little too far down. Weren’t many cars, and plenty of open roads; no need to go the speed limit. “Invite Jax if you want. Have a bike of your own yet?” 

  
  


“You kidding? I had to include an extracurricular debate club to my schedule just to get lessons for this licence - and being President of the Student Body, and Volleyball Captain for the car.” That’s without beauty competitions, science club, and girl Scouts. “Mom would have lost her marbles if I even asked.” 

  
  


“You’re not there now, don’t have all those things going on.” True, she thought; and Clay would be more than happy to teach her. 

  
  


Their eyes met, a smile on her lips. “I would, but I  _ really  _ don’t want to show you up; imagine how embarrassing that would be.” The icy blue sparkled at him, her grin wide enough to show her teeth. 

  
  


Ope rolled his eyes. “Yeah, like you wouldn’t crash that; I remember the bicycle incident.” She was five, the wall moved. 

  
  


“I’m telling you, it wasn’t me, it was the wall.” She swore before pulling up in front of his house, and cutting the engine. They both stared, laughter leaving them. He’d go back to work, and she’d go back to the house. “Saturday, yeah?” Winnie didn’t want to leave the one she saw as a brother. 

  
  


“Yeah.” He promised. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss against her cheek, before opening the door. “Stay safe, yeah?” 

  
  


She nodded. “Yeah, you too. Send my love to Donna and the kids.” 


	4. Love will hold you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love will hold you,   
> Page 54

Winnie sat opposite her father, glasses sitting over her eyes; hand nursing her head as she lent on her elbow. Staying up all night wasn’t a good decision; her head pounding, as the sunlight threatened her eyes. Clay sat before her, a table between them. “You weren’t home this morning, been out drinking?” The eyes, so similar to her own, were filled with concern. 

  
  


Her head shook, a shaky breath falling from her lips. “No, met up with Opie.” The blue widened, head bobbing at her answer. “Went out for some food.” 

  
  


“That why you seem to be on death’s door? When I asked my daughter out for breakfast this morning; I didn’t expect her to look like she’s hungover.” Winnie shrugged, not caring. “Something to do with your mom?” 

  
  


Her mom… Teeth bit into red stained lips, brows peeking above the glasses frame. “No, probably just the change in location.” 

  
  


“You never could sleep those first few nights.” Or the nights following. She’d kill for a good night’s sleep, desperate to stare at something other than a wall. “Gemma used to make you that tea, would knock you right out.” 

  
  


“Still have the recipe?” Win joked, pulling off her glasses and dumping them to the table; the thought of waffles turning her stomach. “You still want me on the shop today? Haven’t changed your mind?” 

  
  


His head shook, fork digging at the stack of pancakes in front of him. “Course not, it’ll be good to get you in the family business.” Family business? “If you want, I’ll have you trained in mechanics - get you on the floor, or you can do repos.” 

  
  


Winnie grimaced. “No offence dad, but that kind of thing, doesn’t really interest me.” Working in the shop was good enough for her. 

  
  


His brow quirked up. “Then what does? What do you want to do? I’ll arrange it.” Her sweet Pops, thinking he could wave a wand and have everything at his beck and call. “I thought you went to university to study nursing, you need a gig at the hospital?” 

  
  


“No!” She shouted too quickly, Clay sitting back for a moment as he stared at her. “No,” Winnie uttered again, softer this time. “I don’t think nursing is really for me, I just…” What did she want? “Think I need some time to figure things out here, you know.” 

  
  


Clay nodded, eyeing her. “Well, what about doing some of the art for the wraps?” Art for the wraps? “Graphic stuff - all on the computer.” He explained, like it was nothing. “We’ve been buying them through this dealer, having them printed and wrapped here; maybe if you design them, it’ll cut up the middle man, and encourage more customers if they know they can have any design they want.” 

  
  


Her lips pursed, brows furrowing slightly. “You really want me doing that?” 

  
  


Didn’t see why not. “Got a reason for me not to?” Her head shook, Clay satisfied. “Then it’s settled; I’ll speak to the boys at the shop, show you what kind of things to expect, and then we’ll go on from there.” Alright, Winnie thought. “Now finish your waffles, Gemma will worry.” Winnie rolled her eyes, but finished them anyway before pushing the plate away; leaning back in her seat. 

A cup of black coffee was nursed between tense fingers, clenching on the white ceramic as her foot tapped. “Something on your mind, kid?” 

  
  


Her head shook, air blowing through her nose. “Not sure.” A number of questions had surfaced; why Clay had never spoken about her to the guys, why they seemed surprised. She covered it easily with thinking it was pain; but she couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he was ashamed. “You sure you want me hanging around the guys? You all seem so… close.” Winnie muttered. 

  
  


“Baby, there’s no one on this earth that I trust with you, more than them.” His tone firmed, drilling it into her head. “I think it’ll be good for you; your bitch of a mother kept you away from us, your brother. Time we heal those bonds.” Win hummed, glancing down at the dark liquid before bringing it up, inhaling. The scent was always comforting, like a warm hug after walking in the rain for so long. 

  
  


“Yeah…” She dismissed. 

  
  


“Come on, we’ll get some better coffee at the club; see how everyone’s feeling this morning.” A brow rose. How they’re feeling this morning? 

  
  


Winnie reached for her jacket, holding it over one shoulder. “What happened? Did something happen?” 

  
  


“Ah, warehouse got blown to smithereens; we’re riding out this morning to see what happened.” It sounded dangerous, she thought, shooting him a concerned look. “Don’t worry about it baby, club business.” 

  
  


Winnie reached forward, grasping his hand and stopping him. “Whatever club business is, I wanna know about it. If it concerns you and Jax, it’s going to become my problem too.” She told him, meaning it as she stared up at him. 

  
  


Clay sighed, shaking his head. “Just a local gang, trying to stir some shit no doubt. We’ll have it handled, don’t worry.” With that, Clay turned, leaving the diner and his daughter behind. She watched him, eyes falling to the reaper that sat on his back before sighing. He was stubborn, thinking he always had everything handled. Win just hoped this wouldn’t blow back on them and start a full blown war; last time she was here, she’d seen the effects. 

Pushing on the door, she entered out to the cool morning, Clay offering her a helmet. She took it, slipping it over slick curls before climbing on the back; her arms wrapping tight around him. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it Bee?” 

  
  


“Since I sat on the back of this? Almost a lifetime.” Clay laughed, deep and full bellied as he revved the engine, and took off. The wind whistled through the long strands; her pink denim jacket keeping her arms warmed as she pressed her face against the leather. It always, always smelt of cigars and whiskey, it almost ingrained into the hide like a signature scent. “This the same kutte you wore all those years ago?” She asked, curious. 

  
  


He nodded. “Haven’t changed it, be disrespectful to.” He teased, shouting over the wind. Win smiled, eyes following the passing of cars as they took a left, on the homestretch to Teller-Morrow. The same reaper that sat against her cheek was the same form when she was a little girl, screaming for him to go faster. As though he read her mind, the engine revved again, throttling the speed as they were sent hurtling down the road. The air had never smelt so clear, so fresh as she breathed in greedily; mind clear for the first time in months. 

She could only imagine what it would feel like behind Ope, on the highways destined for Cheeseburgers and weed; must be euphoric. The gate was coming closer, opened slightly for one bike to already slip in; Clay following behind it. They jogged, raising and falling on little inconsistencies on the pavement before stopping outside of the MC. 

  
  


The front door was already open, lights on inside. Someone had probably gotten there early, ready for work just like Clay had. Cutting the engine, they slid their helmets off; Winnie fiddling with her fringe as she swung a leg off, and standing to the side; her father doing the side. “Take your bets on who it’s going to be.” He said as he placed the helmets into the saddlebag, motioning to the bar. 

  
  


Winnie thought, lips turning to one side. “I don’t know,” She mumbled, thinking of who she met last night. Tig didn’t really seem like the kind of guy who got in early, neither did Juice. That left Jax or Chibs. “Happy?” 

  
  


“I’m going for Jax, kid seems to live here now.” Winnie’s arms raised at the new knowledge, the unfair advantage he had as Clay toyed with her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Lets see who won.” They entered the bar, surprising taking them both. Chibs was stood at the bar, pot of coffee in one hand, bottle of whiskey in the other as he looked up. “Shit.” Clay muttered, Winnie nodding. 

  
  


“What?” Chibs asked. “Never seen a scotsman make an Irish Coffee before his 7am shift?” The accent was thick; Winnie laughing as he went to fill the cup; half of it whiskey, and a dash of coffee. 

  
  


Clay shook his head. “If that’s your idea of an irish coffee, I hate to imagine what you think a coffee old fashioned is.” 

  
  


Chibs smiled, scars more prominent amongst the dimples before he raised the glass. “Cheers!” 

  
  


“Stay here with the drunkard, I’m going to the chapel.” Win nodded before watching her father go, her feet already carrying her to the bar. Chibs watched over the edge of his cup, dark eyes following every movement as she peeled off the jacket, sitting on the stool before him. 

  
  


Her icy eyes lifted, widening at the intensity of his stare before pushing back a curl. “You mind passing me a cup?” She asked, Chibs nodding before reaching out and pushing one in her direction. “Thanks.” Pouring the hot coffee in, she brought it to her lips, savouring it. 

  
  


“First day, huh? Got nerves?” The whiskey soothed the pain in his head, arm resting against the wood. 

  
  


She shrugged. “A little.” Win admitted, dropping her gaze to stare at his kutte. Redwood, Original, Sons of Anarchy. “Maybe I should have taken it Irish.” Staring into the coffee cup, swishing the dark liquid around. “Might take the edge off.” 

  
  


“There’s still time.” He advised, holding out the bottle and giving it a little shake; Winnie declining. “You’ll do fine - any customer shouts at you, and you come to me.” 

  
  


“Alright.” Winnie agreed, leaning forward onto her arms. “You get a lot of customers who shout?” She wasn’t entirely sure how that would go down, especially if Clay was on site. Daddy’s little girl, and all that. 

  
  


Chibs grinned, her hand itching to touch at those scars; the deep cuts pulling at his cheeks. He shrugged. “There’s always one, we soon remind them who they’re talking to.” He drunk the last dregs, slamming his cup down. “And you, little golden girl, will stay away from shitheads. Clay’ll have my guts for garters if anything upsets you.” Win rolled her eyes, but smiled anyway as she folded her hands beneath her chin. “Means you can’t antagonise them either.” 

  
  


“Promise to be on my best behaviour for you, sir.” She told him, pouting her lips and shooting her best angelic face.

  
  


“That’s the face of a she-devil if ever I’ve seen one.” Sending a wink, Winnie climbed off her stall before grasping her jacket and purse. “Coffee at ten?” She asked, glancing at him from over her shoulder. 

  
  


Chibs smirked in disbelief, knowing a tease was prancing around as Clay’s daughter. “Aye, coffee at ten. Milk, two sugars.” The tight jeans hugged her as she disappeared out, reminiscent of those 70s models he idolised as a teen. The way the sun hit her skin, her hair hanging along her back; and those tight clothes. Chibs leaned down, watching her through the dirty window as she crossed the lot, sending little waves to those she knew as she passed. 

He’d have to watch himself; girls like that, he’d seen plenty of. Teases, enjoying the chase, not caring for other people. All defence mechanisms to feel wanted, and he saw right through that. 

  
  


“Aye, Win!” Tig greeted as he spotted the chirpy blonde, Win rocking on her heels as she waited by the office. “You’re up particularly bright and early.” 

  
  


She grinned, nodding up at the taller man. “Oh you know, first day on the job. I thought I might as well bring some sunshine to the garage, you all look like you could use it.” That they did, he thought, eyes flickering across her body as hers lifted to the sky. It was still a little too early to tell what the day was doing, but she thought it’d be another hot one. The only clouds still lingering were the last few from the cold night.

  
  


“Right, right. It’s your first day. You’re in charge of the monkeys on the forecourt.” The icy blue rolled as she smirked, shaking her head. 

  
  


“I’m running the desk, not the men.” 

  
  


“Keep telling yourself that, darlin’. In those jeans, you might as well try complete control of Charming.” Patting his arm, Winnie slipped past. She was more than her body - not that her mother saw her that way, and neither did some of these guys. “Aye, I’m toying.” He told her, following her in. “But I mean it about the men, probs need a little direction.” Direction for appointments she hoped, not how to do their job. She didn’t know the first thing about fixing issues with cars. 

  
  


The blue searched the lot, at the cars that were beginning to fall in, alongside the motorcycles. “You working today?” She asked, curious. 

  
  


His head shook. “On club business this morning, might be around this afternoon. Why?” 

  
  


Winnie shrugged. “Just curious.” Really it was because she knew if she messed up, she’d be able to bat her eyelids at him, flash a couple of fake tears, and everything would be resolved. 

  
  


“Chibs’ll be around if there’s any problems, and Jax probably in the afternoon. Any issues, either use Half-sack or blame it on him - it’s what the prospect’s for.” Flashing an award winning smile, he leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek, Winnie kissing him back. “Have a great day, doll.” 

  
  


“You too.” 

Win’s hand rested on her chin as her eyes watched the clock move slowly, the hands ticking at an almost snail-like speed. The job was sort of boring, the books easy to fill, the phone even easier to answer; and she only ever saw the mechanics if they needed a key, customer, or car part. Win was a little bit of a sitting duck in there; her leg bouncing, a cigarette lit, and her eyes watching out the door at the passing people. 

Ten had been and gone, Chibs too busy for coffee as he’d been roped into helping Half-Sack. The door opened, her head turning with a raised brow to meet ocean hued eyes. “Hey sis, was wondering if Gemma’s popped in yet.” He asked, stepping into the office. 

  
  


She shook her head, placing down the cigarette. “Not yet, I can give her a phone call if you want.” 

  
  


His lip curled, head shaking. “Nah, I’ll give her a call; thanks, darlin’.” 

  
  


He went to turn, Winnie calling out to him. “Hey, you spoke to Opie yet?” 

  
  


“No. Why? I need to?” 

  
  


She shrugged. “I met up with him last night, we’re heading out to the nearest sonic to grab burgers; wanted to know if you’ll tag along.” Jax nodded, considering it. 

  
  


“If I got it free, I’ll be there.” Win smiled. “He, uh, speak much last night?” He set himself down opposite, crossing his legs.

  
  


Win bit on her lip, shaking her head. “About Donna and the Kids, they’re struggling. Too many mouths, not enough food to feed them with.” 

  
  


“Shit.” 

  
  


“I asked him why didn’t he come back, why he didn’t seek out his family - but he’s stubborn, and so is Donna. She hates the idea of him being back in the club.” What happened had really fucked Opie over, seems part of him was shaken too. “I offered to help him out, where I could - but he didn’t want that either.” 

  
  


Jax shook his head, hand brushing along his face. “I’ll speak to him, see where his head’s at. Might be able to sway him.” Win nodded. That was a good decision. “I know you’ve just come back Win, but I want you to be safe. Don’t get messed up in club business, especially now.” 

  
  


“Jax, I’m not messing with club business; I just care about my brothers. I’m new here, I don’t want to stick my foot where it doesn’t belong.” If they were open with her about what was going on, she would be open with them in return. She’d spent years messaging them, seeking her approval, her advice. She knew more about the club than anyone, a direct line to three members - not including the one she shagged. “When have I ever messed with club business?” 

  
  


“SAMTEX. You let them enlist you into some of their missions, could have gotten yourself killed.” A pistol was constantly strapped to her thigh, and all she did was pretend she was a prostitute. 

  
  


Win lent forward, making sure his eyes met hers. “Jax. I’m not the same fragile little girl I was last time we saw each other.” Shit happened, things changed. “I don’t want access to the club, I love you and dad, I want to make sure you’re safe.” She reiterated, grabbing his hand. “I’m just looking for a home, wherever that may be.” 

  
  


“I know.” His thumb rubbed against the back of her hand, the two siblings understanding each other. “And I’ll make sure of that.” Giving a squeeze, Jax stood back up. “Gonna give Gemma that call, you might wanna wait out front - prospect and Chibs’ll be back soon.” 

  
  


“What am I supposed to do with that?” She asked, curious as she rose from behind her seat. 

  
  


He smirked. “You’ll see, consider it a write off.” Write off? She had to fill out paperwork for that? Shaking her head, Winnie left the small office to stand in the lot, watching the cars move in. The club was open, people lingering outside in the sun with an array of bikes parked out front. The three mechanics were still on the shop floor working on the latest appointments. She approached, nodding to Lowell JR as she passed. 

  
  


The garage was in the shade, cooler than the sun that seemed to bask down. “Aye, girlie.” Tony motioned her over, Winnie crossing the room to stand with him. “I’m having a little bit of trouble, was wondering if you could help me?” A brow rose in questioning. “Got a problem with the engine of the bike, need you to just sit on it and revv it; tell me if it feels off to you.” 

  
  


“Sure, Tony; don’t know how much help I can be, but I’ll give it a shot.” He took her to the bike, Winnie hopping on the seat before turning the engine. “What kind of thing are you expecting to be wrong with it?” 

  
  


He shrugged, shaking his head. “Don’t know; something got lodged in the works, took it apart, built it back but it ain’t making the same sound. I don’t know if it’s done more damage inside.” Her hand twisted the throttle gently, the rumble roaring beneath her as Winnie listened out. There amongst the defining sound was a strange tinkering, like a rattling. “Hear that?” He asked, her head nodded. 

  
  


“You said you pulled everything apart, did you just mean the engine or the whole bike?” Might have caused something to go wrong in the backend. 

  
  


Tony pointed to the handle, getting her to revv it again. “Several parts; didn’t touch the exhaust or anything.” The tow truck pulled up, her brow raising as she watched from the corner of her eye. A deer was pierced through the front window, glass shattered around it, and blood coating the inside. Shit, she thought. 

  
  


“Cheek everything’s reconnected. Maybe a nut came loose, slipped inside somewhere.” Might be the cause of the rattling. “Look at the pieces you didn’t touch; then call me if you need me, I’ll be around.” Switching off the engine, she climbed off, Chibs approaching her. “You’re cruel to your prospects, you know that?” 

  
  


He smirked, handing her papers. “Nothing wrong with that, lass. Kid needs to learn.” 

  
  


“How to carve a deer?” A wretch broke their chat, their eyes darting over. He was almost doubled over, his hand clutching his stomach. 

  
  


“Kid’s a vegetarian, what’d you expect?” Winnie’s eyes darted to the papers, finding them to be the forms she didn’t want. How was she supposed to fill this out? Cause of reason? Deer through window? 

  
  


Icy blue flickered up to brown as it caught up to her. Vegetarian? She cringed. “Poor little weirdo.” His arm wrapped around her shoulders, tugging her out of the garage and into the sun. 

  
  


“Now you see why we’re so hard on him?” 

  
  


Winnie shook her head. “Not if you learnt it today.” 


	5. Cause they look so much like you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cause they look so much like you  
> Page 15, to fathers with daughters
> 
> I'm not 100% sure about the medical practices for this, I've tried to research as best I can. Forgive me.

“Shit, Doll; you think you can hop into the car, I need to go check on Jax’s ex-wife. Don’t want to do it alone.” Gemma asked, brushing a hand through her daughter’s hair as Winnie turned, gazing up at her. 

  
  


She frowned. “Sure, Gem. But don’t I need to stay here, cover the desk.” 

  
  


Her head shook. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll get the guys to do it. This is important.” Win nodded, standing from her place before grabbing her jacket. Gemma was a hurricane wrapped in a white shirt and vest, her dark eyes set with military-like precision as she led Winnie out, and towards the car. Win had never met Wendy, but from the stories, it seemed she was a distraction who’d grown out of control; their little reconciliation period resulting in one future nephew. 

  
  


Gemma never liked girls around her sons, and Wendy wasn’t a particular exception; but if there was one thing Winnie understood from being by her side, it was that she looked out for family. “What you think something happened?” She asked, curious. 

  
  


Gemma pursed her lips, climbing into the driver’s side. “No. I just don’t trust her.” Winnie’s eyes cut, but she didn’t press it further; seemed stress was lingering too heavily in the air. “Don’t want her flogging the silverware - it was my grandmother’s.” 

  
  


“Thought drugs didn’t get into Charming, was one of dad's toughest rules.” Wendy being a junkie? And pregnant? Couldn’t be easy. 

  
  


“Yeah, but the nearest crank dealer outside of town is only a half hour’s drive. Just want to make sure she hasn’t crossed that line.” Winnie’s brows quirked, eyes searching the passing street. “Missed her last three appointments which has Jax spooked.” Gemma went on, hand moving against the wheel with every word she spoke. 

  
  


Right. “Jax excited to be a dad?” 

  
  


“Oh you know, about as excited as he is for a math’s test.” She explained. “All fathers are the same until their babies are born into the world; for mothers it’s different, you love them from the first flutter.” Things must have gotten twisted for Winnie’s parents; she wasn’t sure her mother had ever loved her; but that’s all she knew from her father, the taste of eternal love. Where one bruised, the other would lift a gentle hand. 

  
  


"That true for women like Wendy?" Winnie asked. 

  
  


Gemma glanced over, lips pursing. "No. Women like that don't feel the first flutter, they only focus on the chase of their addiction. Baby is just an inconvenience - they don’t give a shit." Alcohol, drugs, didn't matter what. “I could say the same thing about your mother.” 

  
  


Gemma took a left, Winnie’s boot tapping against the carpet of the car with her eyes searching the road. “My mother hid her alcoholism well, Clay didn’t catch on for the first few years.” Jax’s old neighbourhood, she thought, raising a brow as Gemma turned again. 

  
  


“Ah, your mother wasn’t that bad then. But one glass always leads to two; and she certainly would have a few.” Winnie let the silence fill the car, choosing to keep her mouth closed than speak any further. Her mother wasn’t always someone she wanted to talk about, too painful to think about, too bitter to stay kind about. 

She pulled up, putting the car in park before the pair slipped out. Was quiet, the same suburbia that Gemma had clung to on the other side of town. They turned their attention to the door, the junk that sat on the stairs. “Jesus christ, this junkie bitch.” Rolls of newspapers, and leaflets for takeaway and superstores. Gemma kicked at them, making her way up with Winnie hot on her heels. She knocked. “Wendy!” 

They waited, ears listening out for movement. There was nothing, no shuffle, no shout. Not even a door slam. “Head around the side, I’ll keep at it.” Gemma told her. 

Winnie slipped back down, slipping past a grey car and towards the side. Maybe she could get a look inside. Hands finding the window ledge, Win’s view just slipped over the top, worry filling her gaze. Cutlery was thrown along the floor, a pint of ice cream melting across the stone; but what made the icy blue freeze was the fallen figure of who she could only assume was Wendy. 

Blood coated her legs, the puddle large enough around her to let them know she’d been there a while. “Gemma!” Winnie cried out, scared. “Phone a goddamn ambulance!” Win stepped back from the window, eyes searching further around before finding a door. It was mostly glass, easy to break if she had the right rock. 

Heel clicked against stone, rushing as she could already hear Gemma shouting down the phone. Her hand thrust out a set of keys, Win clasping them, before rifling through for the right key. She didn’t know as she jammed in the first, unable to push it in all the way before looking at them. Only one looked different. Slipping it in and twisting, the door fell open. Winnie moved quickly as she dropped to her knees besides Wendy, pushing back her hair from her face. She was clammy, no signs of frothing at the mouth, but that didn’t mean she didn’t OD. She’d seen cases like it. 

Winnie’s ear dropped to her nose, a slow, small breath taken. Her hands swept to her neck, fingers pressing against the skin. There was a pulse, but it was strong, maybe a little too fast - certainly not irregular. Nothing could be done here, she needed the hospital and she needed it now. IV Drip would be Wendy’s solution, and more oxygen being brought into her body. Winnie moved her, tilting her head and lifting her chin; desperate to open her airways, and try to stop her from swallowing her own tongue - or worse, her vomit. 

Icy eyes dropped down, to the blood that had pooled below her, coating her leggings. The baby could only go two ways. Dead, or alive; and Win prayed it was the latter. “How long till the ambulance is here?” Win asked, trying to keep calm. She moved Wendy’s legs straight, moving her arm, and her leg, before pressing Wendy’s cheek to her hand; she needed them at right angles as she pulled her slightly, getting her into the recovery position. As Winnie’s hands ran along her arms, she could see the track marks, where needles had punctured the skin over and over. 

The sight made her sick; her stomach turning. 

  
  


“They said they’re right around the corner.” Gemma muttered, Winnie nodding. Resting a hand to Wendy’s chest, she could feel it rise and fall, taking in slightly more air than before. Her eyes searched around for the needle, grasping the thing and the little baggies before thrusting it at Gemma. The woman shook her head as she took it, shaking her head. “Dumb bitch, strung out on Crank.” 

  
  


Winnie shook her head. “Thought she got clean.” 

  
  


“Must have fallen off the wagon, probably why she missed those hospital appointments.” That’d explain it. “Didn’t realise she was this bad.” Sirens pierced the air as their head turned, eyes meeting before looking to the doorway. “What’s your bet on the baby?” 

  
  


She shrugged. “Hard to say, don’t know how long she’s been here. They’ll probs run some tests - and if it’s looking bad, they’ll book her in for a caesarean.” Jax’ll have to meet his son earlier than he thought, if everything was okay with him, and he was strong. 

  
  


“Shit. We’ll get her loaded up, then we’ll head over to the shop; you’ll need to change.” Her eyes darted down, at the blood that sat on her jeans. 

  
  


“No. One of us’ll have to ride with her, tell them what she took. Get one of the guys to bring some clothes.” And there was no way Winnie could guarantee Gemma wouldn’t want to kill her on the way over. Her hand brushed back the strawberry shaded hair, tucking it behind Wendy’s ear. 

  
  


Doors slammed shut, feet racing with wheels. “You tell them what she took, we’ll have services down here.” She hissed. 

  
  


Winnie threw her a look, glare cutting like a sword. “If you want mother and baby alive, that’s what has to happen. They don’t give a shit, as long as they can treat her.” Gemma turned, shaking her head. The anger was rolling from her in waves, dark eyes darting around the place. “Hairy dog mean anything to you?” She asked, curious as she held the bag in her hand, little crystals still sitting inside. 

  
  


“Bar just on the edge of town; Aryan territory.” Then they were the ones who sold it to her. 

  
  


“Tell Jax, he’ll get this sorted out.” Two paramedics came rushing through the door, Gemma stepping away as Winnie rose, letting them take over. 

  
  


One of them approached the pair. “Hello!” They called out, breaking apart with two large bags in their hands. “This the patient? Wendy Teller?” They nodded. “Is she breathing?” 

  
  


“Barely.” Winnie answered for them. “She’ll need oxygen, I’ve put her in the recovery position, but…” She wouldn’t know if it did her any good. “Suspected drug overdose. Methamphetamine, her heart’s just a little fast, but that doesn’t mean anything.” 

  
  


“You work in the medical profession ma’am?” Another nod. “Alright, we’ll get her set up with an IV drip, and check her blood pressure. Once we get her on the ambulance, then we’ll run more checks on her and the baby. How many months is she?” 

  
  


“Almost reaching seven; the baby’s not supposed to be born for another two months.” Gemma spoke clearly, Winnie’s eyes watching as a paramedic fiddled with their bag. 

  
  


He finished his notes, his crew member already working on it. “Alright. We’ll get her taken to the hospital; is one of you riding with us?” Her hand raised, nodding as eyes flickered back. “Anything we should know?” 

  
  


Win moved forward. “I can tell you on the way there, just get her to the hospital.” He gave a nod and a dirty look, before going on to assist the other, lifting Wendy from her place on the floor, and onto the stretcher. 

  
  


“Meet you there.” Gemma told her, Win nodding. “I’ll get one of the boys to give you a lift back.” 

* * *

  
  


Win stood, gazing at the mirror as her hands washed off the blood coating her skin. The day had been long, and draining; the sweet morning she had with her Pops the furthest thing from the mind as her hand swiped along her face. No sleep was catching up to her, the ratty SAMCRO shirt she had on, and little leggings making her feel the comfiest she had in a while. 

Wendy had been in surgery for most of it, Tara - one of Jax’s old flames - assisting with Wendy and the baby. The ice flicked over to her phone, her hand seeking it. Pops had left a message, Opie dropping her a call. She clicked his name, pressing it to her ear as she leant against the hospital sink. It rang for a moment, before he picked up. “Hey.” 

  
  


“Hey.” She muttered. “You phoned?” 

  
  


“Jax swung by this afternoon, offered me an in with SAMCRO.” His voice was passive, no excitement in his tone, but there wasn’t disappointment either. 

  
  


Her brow rose. “And? What’d you say?” 

  
  


“Told him to let him know when he needed me.” Good, that was good. Opie getting back in with the club, trying to heal some of those severed bonds. 

  
  


Win took a deep breath. “How you feeling about that? After our conversation last night, thought you wouldn’t ever head back in.” Rinsed his hands of them for Donna. 

  
  


He hummed. “Easy money, be good to return. Just gotta be smart about all this, don't wanna end up in prison." Winnie could see why. 

  
  


"Doubt the boys'll let it happen, they know what you're risking." She tried to comfort, daring a glance back in the mirror. She still had blood sitting along her collarbone, her clothes virtually ruined in a small pile. 

  
  


Winnie took hold of the carrier bag, having slipped into some sneakers. "Heard about Abel, you left the hospital yet?" 

  
  


"No. Wanted to make sure everything was okay with the baby and Wendy before I left." Her teeth sunk into her lips, shoulders sagging. Her nephew was swimming deeper into a swamp that she wasn't sure he'd pull out of, and drugs had messed up his body bad. Poor baby would spend months of his life in that incubator before being held for the first time, or be able to take his first breath without a machine helping him. 

  
  


"You want me to pick you up? I don't mind." Winnie thought about it before nodding, realising he couldn't see her. 

  
  


"If you don't mind, Ope. You still got a room there?" The thought of sleeping on her dad's couch made her uncomfortable, and before long she'd need somewhere to crash without being disturbed. 

  
  


He hummed. "No. I'll make my way over now. I'll message you when I'm outside." Saying their goodbyes, she hung up, leaving the small bathroom. Winnie's eyes fell onto the new figure of Tara, blue scrubs on, her arms holding onto a chart as she stared at the clipboard. Their eyes met, both offering an awkward smile before Winnie approached. 

  
  


"Hey." She muttered. 

  
  


"Hey." Tara muttered back. "I wanted to thank you, for today. The way you handled Wendy back at the house." Winnie shook her head, dismissing it. "It was brave." 

  
  


It wasn't brave, it was just once her job. " I should be the one thanking you, you're a specialist on this. I just want to make sure my nephew stays alive, and you seem to be the key to it." 

  
  


Tara shrugged, her smile dropping slightly as she looked at Win. "Right. You're Jax's little sister, I always forget." The comment felt off, Win biting at her cheek. 

  
  


“That a problem?” She pressed, the blue refusing to move from her face. 

  
  


“No.” She wasn’t sold. Tara had known about her, before she left all those years ago; she was a young girl, foolish and in love; but that had certainly changed, she’d grown. Hardened, eyes didn’t sparkle like they had. 

  
  


Pursing her lips, Winnie scanned over her body, eyes clicking back to hers. “Good.” Winnie turned to glance into Wendy’s room, finding her wide awake. “Excuse me, I’m just going to check on her.” Tara nodded, letting Winnie enter. The room was quiet, dark eyes watching her as she slipped in, a hand locked around a book in front of her. She smiled. “Hi.” 

  
  


Wendy smiled back, tired. “Hi.” 

  
  


“How are you feeling? You’re up and awake, which is a good thing.” Win moved to the little seat at the side, placing herself down. She’d never met Wendy before, knew her and Jax weren’t always on the best terms. 

  
  


She shrugged. “I feel like shit. I’m so sorry about what I did to Abel, I feel terrible.” Win shook her head, offering her a polite smile. 

  
  


“Old habits die hard, I’m sure you tried to stop.” The warm brown studied her for a moment, uncertainty in her eyes. “I’m just glad you and Abel are okay, could have turned out different.” And Win meant her words. So many people would hate Wendy for this, judge her based on her actions; but Win liked to believe she never intended to harm her baby, never cause what she did to Abel. 

  
  


“Yeah, me too. Thanks.” The two shared a smile, before they glanced away. The two sat in the quiet of the room for a moment, both lost to the thought of Abel. “Have you seen him yet?” 

  
  


She nodded. “He looks just like Jax.” Wendy huffed a laugh, grinning. “He’s so tiny, I can’t help but want to give him a hug, you know.” 

  
  


“I know.” Her phone buzzed, Winnie pulling it out. 

_ Outside.  _

  
  


“I hope you feel better soon, and that you can get clean; for your sake, just as much as for Abel’s.” Wendy nodded, tired eyes warming. “Get some rest; you’ll feel better.” Leaving her behind, Win walked through the hospital, and out; finding Opie sitting on his bike out front. She grinned, his arms opening for her to step into before wrapping her up and squeezing. Y-opie bear hug. “Ahh, hi yah!” 

  
  


His arms tightened, squeezing her tighter. “Hey, you ready to go to the club?” 

  
  


“Yeah.” Letting her feet touch the ground, he stared down, laughing. “What?” 

  
  


“Always been that short? Christ, my youngest is taller than you.” She glared, poking him with her finger. 

  
  


The audacity. “Like you’re one to talk, you give Shrek a run for his money.” Rolling his eyes, he climbed onto the bike before passing her a helmet, Winnie taking it and slipping it on. 

  
  


“Better Shrek than Tinkerbell.” Her arms wrapped around his stable figure, Opie taking off. The night was cool around them, their hair ruffling with the wind as they took through the streets. His body moved with the bike, becoming one as he took the twists and turns, driving with skill. Winnie smiled, pressing her face to the leather as lights flickered past like a sputtering candle; excitement building in her stomach. 

  
  


They pulled up to the lot, slipping between the other bikes. Already people had spilled out from the bar, loud cries cheering as two people went at each other in the ring. She passed back the helmet, eyes wide as she glanced around at the place. People seemed to have come from all over. “Woah, so many people.” 

  
  


“Yeah, it’s a party.” Ope teased, running a hand through his hair before placing on his beanie. “Guys’ll be around here somewhere.” 

  
  


Her brows rose. “You think they’ve got a spare room?” He looked at her, curious. “Don’t really wanna sleep on the couch tonight.” 

  
  


“You can use my old room, don’t think they’ve changed it.” Win squeezed his hand, thankful. “Might be some of my old jumpers in there - they’ll be big, but I think girls wear that as fashion now?” Her brow rose, staring at him. Ope felt like he had three heads as the blue looked on quizzical, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t fucking know. Or there might be some women’s stuff in lost and found.” 

  
  


“You think I should change?” Winnie asked, motioning to her clothes. In fairness, the shirt did have some holes in, and the leggings clinging a little tight. 

  
  


His arm wrapped around her shoulders, tugging her towards the club. “Only if you want to. You look cute as you are.” Winnie shrugged, but tied the top up slightly, running a hand through her hair. She’d probably change, and shower; she couldn’t quite wash it all off at the hospital. 

  
  


They trailed past the ring, Win hesitating as she pointed. “Is that Tig and Happy?” Tig landed a punch onto Happy’s cheek, Happy quickly swinging back, pummelling over and over. She gasped, tugging Opie along to the edge. It looked relentless, like they hated each other. “Are they fighting for real?” 

  
  


“No, they’re play fighting.” Another hit, gasping erupting from around them. Bobby was quick to enter the ring, pulling at Tig as someone tugged at Happy, keeping them apart. Tig grasped Bobby’s kutte, taunting at Happy from across the ring before smiling at each other. She watched, hands landing on the edges. The two reached for each other, wrapping their arms around each other as they made up. They really were just play fighting. 

  
  


From across the ring, she could see her father and Jax, serious looks on both of their faces as they spoke to each other. Winnie stayed still, not wanting to intrude. She'd heard he swung by the hospital, but she didn't see him. The news must have been hard, seeing Abel even harder for him the way he was. She bit into her lip, two legs blocking her view before she flicked her gaze up, finding Tig standing before her, Happy beside him. "Hey, doll. What you doing here?" 

  
  


He slipped through the ropes, dropping down. "Oh you know, rough day, wanted somewhere to relax." And this was apparently the place. Two more opponents entered the ring, the crowd cheering around them. 

  
  


"Right. Heard about that, you, uh, you found her." Win nodded, wrapping her arms around herself as Opie hugged her to him. She could feel his warmth against her, like a snuggly blanket or a cosy fire; his strength rooting her in place as two sets of eyes darted between them.

  
  


"Shit. Sorry you had to see that." Happy muttered, meaning it. 

  
  


Her head shook but her hands quivered, a smile finding its way onto her face despite not shining fully. “Lucky we caught her when we did, baby might not be here now otherwise.” All that blood, the possibility of Wendy dying. Sickness flooded her throat, eyes fluttering to look away. “Abel’s a fighter.” 

  
  


“Gets that from his daddy.” Tig noted, laughing. “C’mon, let’s go celebrate.” Tig and the boys led her inside the bar, the scene just as chaotic as it was outside; though, not as busy as she assumed it could be. Probably last minute. Leading her to the bar, she could see Half-Sack and Juice, the two laughing as beers sat around them - though she suspects Half-Sack was to tend the bar. 

  
  


She smirked, sitting herself on a free stool, the bar lights illuminating their faces. “Aye, Half-Sack; a round over here.” Happy muttered, the three blending in around her. The Prospect nodded, instantly pulling beers from a fridge, cracking them open, and passing them over. 

  
  


Winnie took hers, the cool bottle comforting in her hand as her thumb swiped at the wetness. “Come on, what are we going to toast to?” Tig asked, holding out his body. 

  
  


“Abel?” Opie asked, slightly confused. 

  
  


Win shook her head, holding hers suspended in the air. “Too early; think of something else.” 

  
  


The boys thought for a moment, coming up blank. “What about family then?” Jax asked as he approached, his own half empty bottle in hand. His lips met Win’s cheek, a smile darting across her lips as he joined them. “Winnie’s back, Abel’s been born, and Opie’s returned to the fold. Seems fitting.” 

  
  


“Yeah, I can get behind that.” Happy agreed, holding his eyes. “ **To family.** ” They spoke together, clinking them against one another's. Laughing in almost disbelief, at the euphoria that rushed her body as she gazed at those around her. She brought it to her lips, and took a sip. To family; Winnie agreed. 


	6. On days like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On days like this,  
> I need you to run your fingers through my hair,   
> and speak softly.   
> \- page 66, you

The past few days had been relatively uneventful to Winnie; hanging out in Opie’s old room, working the desk at TM during the day, and then bantering with the guys in her free time. She knew her dad was worried about that warehouse, enough that he took the guys out on a little secret mission; and she knew her brother very rarely saw his son. Kid didn’t entirely have anyone, with Wendy ODing again in the hospital, and everyone else kept out by a thin piece of glass and a metal door. 

Besides, her sleep schedule had been a little better knowing she was in safe walls with familiarity; and a little more sleep meant a little more energy. Win sat at the bar, bare legs crossed, cigarette hanging from her lips as she fiddled with her phone, frowning. Stupid thing had been giving error messages, and she knew she needed to keep this working otherwise Brian and Forella would both reign down a pile of shit even stable masters would struggle to dig her out of it. 

She huffed, a small whine of frustration as she sucked on the cigarette harder. It was a delicate balance between blowing the smoke out and bringing it in without having to remove it from her lips, a long trail of ash drooping threateningly from the tip. She pushed in the keypad, desperate for it to do anything before slamming it down and sighing. Her head dropped. “Fuck!” She cried out, ash falling to her breast; hands quick to slap it away. The skin stung, a small red patch blossoming where it had touched.

This day was not her fucking day, she could feel it. Juice watched the frustrated blonde; a box in his hand no longer seeming important as he dumped it on the side, approaching her. “Hey, Winnie, you alright?” 

  
  


Two icy eyes gazed up at him. Free from any makeup at the ungodly hour, but Juice could see beneath her eyes sat the smudges of mascara, a desperate attempt at clearing sleep. Win forced a nod, her lips pursed as she finally removed the cigarette. “Huh, yeah, Juicy. Just stupid technology.” 

  
  


His eyes fell to the piece in question, a simple flip phone. “What’s wrong with it?” 

  
  


She shrugged. “Dunno, came up with an error message; doesn’t want to get rid of it.” 

  
  


“You mind if I have a look?” Her hand motioned for him to take it between a puff of her cigarette, the hand soon returning to her forehead. Pain was blossoming between her temples, soon to branch out into a full blown headache. 

Juice’s dark eyes stayed transfixed on the piece, fingers moving with ease as he navigated through it. Winnie watched with a dented brow, curiosity causing her sight to sit between his eyes and his fingers. Within seconds, the phone vibrated, turning off before turning back on. “Here,” He muttered, handing it back. 

  
  


Her frown only deepened, taking it from his hand, and gazing at it. It was fine, no error message as she brought up the menu. Surprise took her. “How’d you do that?” She asked, both confused and wonderstruck. 

  
  


Juice shrugged, hands returning to the box. “Something was wrong with the settings, just needed to be reset.” He said it like it was nothing, as though it wasn’t an inconvenience at all. 

  
  


“Thanks, Juice.” Winnie uttered gently, meaning it. He shot her a smile, before nodding and picking the box from the side, leaving her. Win checked her messages, finding she could actually open them now without some kind of message popping up. It was a miracle. The ice refused to leave the back of his kutte, even long after he disappeared from her view. Technology had never been her strong point, so even if it was as simple as he’d said, it meant a lot to her. 

Her fingers flicked through the messages, finding her mother’s contact. 

_ It’s been a while since your last check in, ring me.  _

Winnie’s eyes rolled, finding Brian’s name next. 

_ Congratulations on your apartment, I expect a list of all contact information to be updated; and bills for proof of your living there. Any inconsistencies and I’ll send police to retrieve you. Phone you mother.  _

Her anger only spiked, hand clenching as she kept scrolling through. Members of SAMTEX hoping she’d reached Charming okay, and a couple of girls from college. Swapping the cigarette for a cup of coffee, Winnie took a sip, closing her eyes for a moment. Brian had always tested her patience in ways no one ever understood; that all coming to boiling point mid way through the year, just after university had finished. 

Sipping at the taste of the bitter liquid, she felt the tension release from her shoulders; the taste already ebbing away the last embers of whatever tiredness had plagued her. She’d need another cup of stronger stuff to get her through her mother’s call, but she might as well, it wasn’t going to go away, only get worse. 

  
  


Winnie found her contact again, clicking the green button before placing it against her ear, and waiting. For being before five, it surprised her at the quickness it took for her to pick up; for the shrill, uptight voice to burst from her speakers. “Winnifred.” 

  
  


“Mother.” She greeted back, stubbing the cigarette before reaching for another. Something to burn the taste of the word out of her mouth. “Just phoning to check in.” 

  
  


The hum was condescending - or as condescending as a hum could be from a middle-aged woman living in a wealthy neighbourhood. “Yes, only took you two days. Are you aware of how concerned your father and I were getting?” 

  
  


The ice looked at the bar, finding the labels of the bottles. “He’s not my father, and I don’t need to do check ins. I’m twenty two, I can care for myself.” 

  
  


Forella sneered. “Yes, I’m sure.That mess you made only proved you can take care of yourself. Spreading filthy lies, ruining our good name like that.” Win rolled her eyes; jaw as clenched as her hand was on the edge of the wood. “You’ll do well to remember you can’t leave that state, unless you want your father to put in another phone call.” She’d made that quite clear the last four phone calls. 

  
  


Nails dug further into the wood, the polished red threatening to chip within her clench. “Thank you, I’m sure I’d only forgotten that detail from your last phone call.” Winnie griped. 

  
  


“Watch your tone young lady, remember who you’re talking to?” And who was she talking to? A woman she thought was supposed to be her mother? The visage she put up calling herself Mrs Duggens? Or the poisonous viper that was a High Society lady? 

  
  


Win’s tongue clicked. “And who is that? Because all I hear is a rat.” Forella gasped in appalment, Winnie’s eyes flicking to the mirror behind the bar. “I’m not going to have you remove me, do you understand?” Icy blue met warm dark brown, surprise in both of their gazes at the sight. “Excuse me, I need to sort my bills out for Brian, I have to send those before I get another call from the Duggens Residence.” Ending the call, she turned. 

  
  


She wasn’t sure how much he’d heard, but the worry that lingered in the lighter shades had her chest hurting, skipping a beat in nerves. “Everything okay?” He asked, Chibs approaching her slowly. 

  
  


Win nodded, forcing the strands of blonde behind her ears. “Fine. Calls from my mother aren’t a joyous thing.” She explained, crossing her hands. 

  
  


“If that’s a call with your mother, I’d hate to see what a call with someone who crossed you would look like.” A huff of a laugh slipped from her, nerves gone as she shook her head. She’d come to find that Chibs was always open with people, as transparent as he could be while committing crimes. She liked that, made her feel like she could trust him. 

  
  


“I’ve been told I’m not pleasant to have a conversation with; something about my tone.” Win teased. 

  
  


His brows rose, his own lips quirking. He also wasn’t bad to look at, a mix between the way he spoke, those scars that screamed a thousand words, and his eyes. “Yeah, can see why.” 

  
  


Win bit her lip. “How much did you hear? Do I need to swear you to silence?” 

  
  


“Your business is your business; but who’s this Brian fella? Causing you any issues?” The way he looked at her made her want to tell him just how much of a pain in the ass Brian really was; but Winnie did what she always did. She threw on a smile, and covered it with a bat of her lashes. 

  
  


“Nothing I can’t handle. Step-Daddy needs to go down a peg or two.” She explained. His brow rose, asking for more of an explanation than that. “He’s controlling, always has been. Some things happened, and he tried to keep me locked down in El Paso. Happy’s taking care of everything, making it still seem like I’m there, while I stay here.”

  
  


That was a whole shit storm of its own, he thought, staring down at her. “That sounds like a mess.” 

  
  


“Maybe. But that’s behind me, I’m here.” She affirmed. “I don’t want him to control me, and I don’t want this to become a club matter either.” If her dad or Jax found out, things would go south very quickly. 

  
  


Chibs’ tongue ran along his bottom lip, eyes cutting but not saying a word. “Got it handled?” A nod, and a puff of a cigarette; her hand offering it to him. His warm fingers slipped over hers, plucking it from her grasp with maybe more contact than needed; their eyes meeting again. “Any issues, you let me know.” 

  
  


“Will do.” She promised, slipping from the stool before leaning forward; her lips brushing his scars before pressing a kiss into his cheek, his hand hovering at her hip. His skin felt alive from where her lips met, like a little spark to the long deadened nerves that mended themselves together. “Thank you, Chibs, for keeping it between us.”

  
  


He nodded. “Any time.” Winnie pulled away from him, small smile but wild eyes as she took a step back, his hand leaving her. His eyes watched her go, lingering at the hem of the shirt that danced around her thighs. His heart raced in his chest, battering his ribs as blood rushed to two places at once. Chibs was trapped at the bar, cigarette in his mouth, and jaw on the floor. 

  
  


Win couldn’t help the heat in her cheeks as the back of her hand settled against them, cool against the raging sizzle of her flesh. She’d kissed the guys on the cheeks all the time, she’d come to join them for hugs, and give affection in the smallest of ways. But what she did then felt intimate; the way her lips met his skin, the way his hand had settled on her hip. Her front teeth settled into the flesh, hands darting to touch them. They didn’t feel any different, but the jolt of excitement begged to differ. 

Her mind raced, and her system felt alive. Better than a cup of coffee, and more soothing than pain relief to a wound. It was all in the teasing, the little wash of adrenaline knowing she could have an affect on someone. Winnie didn’t dare to turn around, she didn’t want to make eye contact and make even more of a fool of herself; he was her father’s man, and he was just there at the wrong time. Closing the door to her bedroom, her back pressed against it; a little smile tugging at the corner of her lips. 

She went to change, to slip out of her night clothes, and into something more suitable for the day. Dad had said something about a funfair, one of those travelling ones that only set up every once in a while. It had been so long since she’d last been to one, Winnie felt herself growing giddy at the thought. The taste of cotton candy, the rush of the rides, and the excitement of hugging a soft toy to her body. She couldn’t wait. 

Winnie tugged on her sneakers, ready to be able to drag Jax onto any ride she wanted; jumper for comfort for when it grew cooler, and jeans. She debated a bag for a moment before grinning, knowing they’d wear their kuttes anyway; she’d just use them. Makeup was whatever, and hair tugged into a middle part bun, two pieces of pale blonde framing her face. Win left, walking quickly back downstairs as she pushed her phone into her palm, money in the other hand. Her plan was for one of the big toys, but she’d settle for several smaller ones if not - and she wanted a bag of cotton candy as big as she was. 

  
  


The blue only lit up as she saw Jax, her arms enveloping him as he waited. "Hi." She greeted, kiss meeting his cheeks as he held her. "The fair right?" 

  
  


He nodded. "Yeah, the fair. Can see you're already primed and ready." Their eyes found her shoes, a lack of heels placed upon them. 

  
  


Winnie grinned. "Yep. Here, I'll need you to hold my phone and purse, I'm not bringing a bag." He shot her a look as she held them out, his reluctance speaking volumes. "Oh come on, Jax. I don't want to be weighed down by a purse; and you know, the only reason I have to carry a purse is because the jean company deems it unnecessary for women to have pockets deeper for anything but a lipstick. The patriarchy is fueling cap-" 

  
  


His eyes closed, hand held up in protest. Boys wouldn't ever understand just how frustrating small pockets were, but she could make him listen to her rant a little more. "Alright, alright. Gimme them here." A grin let up her face. 

  
  


"Thank you, Jax." He rolled his eyes but slipped them in, patting the pocket where they were. "You're the best, brother." 

  
  


He snorted. "That before or after you include Opie." Oh, Opie had him beat by far some days; but that's only because he wasn't official. She rolled her eyes, pushing him with his shoulder, motioning to the door. Clay and Gemma entered the bar, Tig and Bobby hot on their heels. "We ready to go?" He asked them, Clay nodding. 

  
  


"Yeah. Chibs is sorting the shipment, the other boys'll be between the two, so the day is clear." She felt the lightness, shoulders losing some of their tension as smiles passed all around. "Let's head out." 

  
  


Jax kept his arm around his sister as they left the bar, the sun hidden by rolls of light clouds but not enough the affect the temperature. Jax passed a helmet, Win taking it before securing it to her head, he knocked on it, her hand pushing him away. "You sure you're tall enough for them rides, Win? Think a ten year old has you beat." Her head turned to a smirking Tig, finding him sat upon the bike next to them. 

  
  


"Aren't you a little old to go to the fairground? Think you've nailed the whole paedophilia look." Laughter broke from around them, Win smiling as Tig urged her to come closer. 

  
  


"You know, I really hate to break it to you, but my looks get me a lot of women. It's okay, I understand you're jealous; you don't have to be, there's plenty of Tiggy love to go around." He shot her a wink. 

  
  


Winnie smiled, Jax watching on in amusement. "You get a lot of women, huh? Lemme guess, they mostly call you daddy." Her hand sympathetically patted his shoulder before turning back to Jax. "Let's go." 

  
  


"No need to kink shame, doll." Tig muttered defensively. 

  
  


"Those who kink shame usually have it to mask their own sexuality." Jax pointed out.

  
  


She climbed onto the back of Jax's bike, sending them both a smile as she shook her head. "There's only one way to find out if that's true…" 

  
  


Tig's brows wiggled. "You can call me daddy anytime you feel like it baby, I won't mind." The engines roared to life. 

  
  


"I would Tiggy, I really would, but that's already what I call your dad." It was a cheap and low shot, scrapings from the bottom of the barrel, really, but she couldn't help it, especially as Jax burst out laughing, and drove away, leaving Tig in their dust. 

  
  


"You always that much of a wind up?" He asked, Win's arms quick to wrap around him. 

  
  


She shrugged. "Can't help myself, life's too boring without some kind of stir." Tiggy knew she was only joking, and vice versa; half their conversations were always met with playful insults. 

  
  


“Amen to that.” Her cheek pressed against him, another roaring engine climbing up to them as she turned, finding Tig. He gave a wave, Win waving back; he was gaining speed on them, eyes darting to the other side of the road before he swerved out, increasing the acceleration and taking over. Jax laughed, shaking his head. “Stupid bastard.” 

  
  


“What he do that for?” She asked, chin resting on his shoulder to watch as Tig continued to drive, the space between them growing further apart. 

  
  


Jax grinned, feeling his throttle for a moment before smirking. “You holding on tight?” Winnie wasn’t sure, but her arms tightened, hands clasping the leather with a tight fist. “We’re going to race him.” 

  
  


“That smart?” Winnie wondered, eyes widening. 

  
  


“Only if you trust me.” Her stomach flipped, but a laugh bubbled from her lips, telling Jax everything. Within moments, he had squeezed the clutch, shifting gear, and turning the acceleration. A scream of surprise left Winnie as they went shooting off, Jax’s laughing filling the air as they zoomed past cars, dodging expertly, desperate to catch up to Tig. 

Her body leaned with his, her eyes darting at the stream of shops and people before the roads opened up, and Jax kicked it up a gear. The wind bit at her cheeks, the smile at her lips aching the muscles, her hands clenching his Kutte a little too tight. Her rear felt like it was going to slip, but Tig was in touching distance. “You ready for this?” Jax cried out over the wind, Winnie only managing a nod. 

In mere seconds, the engine whined at the speed as they slipped past; her eyes meeting surprised blue. Winnie dared a grin, sticking her tongue out as they soon took the lead, dust flying from the back tire. And she laughed, throwing her head back to feel the sun upon her skin, her pores desperate to soak it up. They passed Gemma’s car, the woman looking on in a mirth filled shock as she fumbled for her phone. 

  
  


The drive didn’t take long with the speed Jax was going, brother and sister already picking on one another as they reached the entrance of the fairground, patiently waiting for the others to catch up. Clay’s arm wrapped around Gemma’s shoulders, smirking as their eyes found them; Tig and Bobby hot on their trail. “Jesus shit, Jax, I told you, I’m not touching that fucking thing.” Winnie whined, pushing him. 

  
  


“Don’t be such a baby, Bee. It ain’t gonna bite, hard.” Tig’s brow rose, the conversation too similar to the one he had on prom night with Jenny Lee. The group met in the centre, Clay handing out tickets, Winnie’s eyes growing wide at the large pile he handed her. 

  
  


He was sweet. “Don’t use them all at once, you got a few hours here, you hear me?” 

  
  


Winnie nodded, face as though butter wouldn’t melt. She pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, daddy.” 

  
  


He flushed, ruffling her hair. “Tig, Jax, you’re watching her today.” Winnie went to protest, the other two also beginning to open their mouths. “Hey, no arguing, anything happens and you’ll be demoted to prospect again - you’ll have a worse time than Half-Sack.” The pair left, Winnie turning to gaze at her new guardians. 

  
  


“So, what do babysitters 1 and 2 want to do?” She asked, hand clutching her tickets tighter. 

  
  


The morning had passed by in a haze; little rides that perhaps they were too big for, the Ferris Wheel, and these little twirling things that had made their heads spin beneath the lights all being hit up quickly as Jax and Tig used their Kuttes to jump the queues. Winnie grinned, bag of candy floss in her hand, the other gazing up at Tig. “So, which one will it be, doll? The rainbow unicorn or the pink dog?” He’d spent the past five minutes trying to land a shitty shot into the plastic tubs, each ball quick to fly from the target zone.

The icy blue flicked between the two stuffies. Both of an adequate size, highly soft by the looks of it, and perfect for her room; but… It wasn’t quite the ginormous pink and purple bear she’d seen one five year old drag around. The ice softened to little pools of aqua, bottom lip pouting as she grasped his hand. It was a little dramatic, but Winnie loved it. “What? What? What is it?” 

  
  
  


His large hand felt a little squeeze; fuck, she was breaking it to him softly. “These are great, Tig, and I’m so thankful you spent ten tickets to do it,” He could feel it, whatever it was, he wanted to say no. Win turned, pointing to the prized piece in the other booth. “But I think I want that one.” 

  
  


The man sighed, shoulders dropping as he rested his hands against the wood, almost doubled over. Jax laughed, Tiggy shaking his head, as the man behind the counter watched the small girl twist them around her pinky. Comical, really. He was too old for this; much, much too old. “Why did you not ask me for that one in the first place, baby?” 

  
  


She shrugged, but smiled at him, their eyes meeting. “You were just working really hard.” 

  
  


Tig sighed, but turned his attention to the man, feeling three years added to his age. “Come on, you heard the lady, what have I got to do?”

  
  


The vendor grinned. “Well, because she’s so pretty,” Jax and Tig glared in warning, the man losing his grin quickly. “And you have been such fine customers, you will only have to hit one of the cans with the rifle.” 

  
  


Easy, Tig thought, slamming down a ticket. “I got this, let me at it.” Win clapped excitedly as Tig lifted the toy gun, little pellets or air inside of it as he aimed it at the cans. 

  
  


“You get three shots per turn.” The vendor reminded Tig, the man waving him off. He held the gun steady, lining it up from years of precision before firing. The tin can moved, but it didn’t fall. Tig frowned, standing straight before firing again. The sound like a stone against metal echoing around but the tin hardly moving. 

  
  


He did it one last time; it wobbled, so close to fall off but holding on strong. “Aye, what kind of shit is this man? It should have fallen.” 

  
  


“I guess you’re just bad at the game.” The vendor teased, Tig’s jaw locking. 

  
  


If she wanted that damn bear, he’d get her that damn bear. Jumping his rear onto the bar, his hands locked onto the collar of the vendor’s shirt, tugging him to him. “Listen here you little shit, you’re going to knock that can over, give that girl the bear, and I won’t put a bullet into your ass. You understand?” Win watched on amused as her eyes turned to Jax, her brother grinning equally as much. 

  
  


The vendor was close to pissing himself, fear trembling as he pulled out of Tig’s grasp. “Alright, alright. Jeez.” He pulled down the pink and purple bear, struggling to pass it over before Winnie’s hands locked around it. It was as soft as she thought, and almost as big as she was. 

  
  


Approaching Tig, she placed a kiss to his cheek. “Thanks Tiggy.” He nodded, helping himself to both the unicorn and dog before leaving. “Ooh!” She burst out, eyes falling to another stall. “Let’s win something for Chibs, I feel bad he wasn’t able to come.” Tig groaned. 

Somehow they’d managed to cross paths with Gemma and Clay again, the two figures too wrapped up in their own little bubble as they joined one another. Tig had a grasp of her legs, her body clinging onto his back as he carried her through the fair. They’d melded into best friends, and Jax the designated protector of one huge pink and purple bear. “Jesus Christ, what is that?” Clay asked, his brows raising at the sight. 

  
  


Jax shook his head. “Ask your daughter, she almost threw a fit for the thing.” Clay rolled his eyes but shot Win a look. 

  
  


Her shoulders shrugged, grinning. “What? A kid had one so I wanted one.” Weak defense, but Clay wouldn’t care. 

  
  


“Only my kid… You’re twenty two, come on.” Win didn’t let it get to her, Tig patting her hands comfortingly. A couple and their kid walked up, clothes looking fancier than the rest of the folk that walked past. Their daughter was young, sweet looking. Clay and them seemed to talk for a moment, Win’s lips lowering themselves to Tig’s ears. 

  
  


“Who are they?” She asked, curious. 

  
  


He dared a glance back at her. “Oswald family. Elliot there owns half of Charming, got his fingers in all the pies.” Her brows rose, lips pursing. “Clay and him go back some.” 

  
  


“Odd combo isn’t it? Country club boy and outcast.” Tig laughed. “What?” 

  
  


“They’re the only kind of combos you need; helps us get out of a lot of shit sometimes.” Her lips pursed, but she nodded. “Come on, let’s leave them to talk. Got more rides to hit up.” 

  
  


By the time the sun was beginning to dip past noon, and threaten with early evening; Win’s tickets were running low, and they’d made their way through the little carnival three times over. Tiredness settled deep into her gaze, her body resting back against Tig’s as he held her up; Bobby having found the trio again. “Ooh, look at the big, bad bikers, huh!” 

A clown sat above a tub of water, laughing and taunting as the group rounded on him. Winnie never really liked clowns, the makeup and history a little too unnerving to her as she crossed her arms, face nuzzling into the little furry highland cow she’d won a few stands back. “Gonna get clowny all wet, huh?” Jax took it personally, having too much of a good time as he picked up two yellow balls from the lady working the booth, throwing them in his hand. 

  
  


Bobby laughed. “Come on, Jax, come on!” He cheered him, Jax throwing the first ball. It was close, so close to hitting the target but barely missing as the guys cried out. 

  
  


“What’s the matter, tough guy? Can’t put the little ball into the tight hole?” He threw again, missing once more. “Bet all your leather-wearin’ butt buddies say the same.” 

  
  


Now the insult was personal, joking manner lost as Tig and Bobby moved forward. “Oh, no. That’s a Bozo no-no.” Tig told him, approaching the stand. 

  
  


Winnie grinned wickedly, laughing as the clown flustered. “Oh, Jesus, you guys. I was just screwin’ around, man. Come on!” Tig slapped at the button, sending him down into the cold water. Jax, Bobby, and Tig climbed up, pushing him back within the water. Serves him right, she thought, giggling. 

  
  


Juice joined her side, her head turning to meet him. “Time to go guys, Irish.” He shouted over the fun. Jax gave a last push to the clown before taking a step back, the boys following. "Aye, nice cow." He muttered, bopping its nose. 

  
  


"Thanks. Got it for Chibs, didn't wanna make him feel left out." She also got something for Happy, and Tig was content with the little duck that could stick on his bike. "I got you something, you don't have to keep it." She told him, crossing her arms in front of herself. "Just something to brighten your day." The small lemon she pulled out from her bag brought a chuckle from his lips, shaking his head as he gave it a squeeze. "Good for throwing at people, or to use as a stress ball." 

  
  


He smiled. "Thanks." Win nodded. 

  
  


"C'mon Juicy boy, let's roll." 


	7. Take refuge in your bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. take refuge in your bed  
> 2\. cry. till the tears stop (this will take a few days).  
> \- Page 133

Win had lingered out of the way in the dorms once they’d pulled up, the guns soon to be dropped off and discussed; and that was no place for her. Her fingers fiddled with the remote, flicking between the channels as a cool beer sat within her fingers. Her body was nestled within the huge bear, the unicorn wrapped in her arms like a comfort blanket. It was boring, knowing she couldn’t leave all the time the guy was there, but she had nowhere else to go. 

She reached out for the newspaper, loosely thumbing through the pages as she sat them on her lap. Win knew she had a secure place here, able to drop in whenever she needed to - her father wanting her to take on more of a role in the business. But, she didn’t want that; she wanted to do things for herself, it was just one of the many reasons she wanted to go to college in the first place. 

She opened it to the adverts, jobs filling the page. Wanted for paper rounds, leaflet posting, and washing cars mostly. Some hospitality, places looking for busboys and waitresses; mostly for local diners. Her eyes stopped on one, grasping a pen before circling it. An ice cream parlour was looking for someone, sounded like a cute job. Little pink uniform maybe, a long ponytail; serving the biggest scoops to small kids and seeing their faces light up. It was a possibility. Maybe a second job to gather money up, pay for her own place. 

The ice settled on an advertisement; with colour, and smiling faces. St. Thomas’; job opportunities always available. Winnie nipped at her lips, shaking her head; things had gotten ruined for her, and this was her bitter repayment. Throwing the newspaper to the side, she sipped the beer, eyes returning to the screen. Just a stupid romcom, not even anything good. 

Her phone rang, Win turning before picking it up. “Hello?” 

  
  


“Winnifred.” Fuck, she though, pulling it away. She should have checked the name, she should have fucking looked. 

  
  


“Brian.” Winnie spat back, raising slightly in the bear’s grasp. “I sent you the papers, you have no reason to phone.” It was short and curt, but she had no patience for a man like him. 

  
  


He smirked, even that screaming with a sadistic, egotistic tang. Fuck him. “Ah, yes. But your mother says she rang you this morning, and you did not keep to your side of the agreement.” Her side of the agreement? What agreement? “You’re supposed to be pleasant to her.” 

  
  


Winnie stayed silent for a beat, thinking of her answer. What she really wanted was to tell him he could shove it far up his ass; but she swallowed it back, pushing back a lock behind her ear. “Yes, this morning was an off morning. It won’t happen again.” Feign an apology, make it sound sweet. 

  
  


He hummed. “Ensure it doesn’t happen again, she’s rather emotional.” Emotional? Win could ask, but did she really want to. 

  
  


Sod it, she’d ask. “Something the matter?” This man boiled her blood. 

  
  


“Oh you know; her daughter this morning, bad dinner party last night, and troubles at work.” What a suburban nightmare. “Next time you phone her, I suggest that you show an interest in her life, make her special.” 

  
  


“Isn’t that your job?” The comment slipped out before she could catch it, her hand quick to cover her mouth as her eyes widened. 

  
  


Another hum. “I’ll pretend you didn’t say that, and that instead, you agreed.” Win kept silent. “Another mess up like this, and I’ll be forced to take more  _ action _ .” 

  
  


“More action?” She enquired. How could he possibly take more action? 

  
  


“You may believe you’re on a tight leash, but believe me, it can get tighter. I’ll drag you back here, kicking and screaming; and that little peace treaty we brokered will soon disappear.” Winnie closed her eyes, sitting forward. “Do we have an understanding?” 

  
  


She nodded, defeat setting into her bones. “Yes, we have an understanding.” 

  
  


"Good girl." She went to wretch, stomach turning uncomfortably. "I'll phone you again later on in the week, your mother will report to me when you've phoned her. Make sure you answer, Winnifred." 

  
  


"Yes." Winnie muttered, voice hoarse before the call ended. She threw it down, letting it bounce across the cover. She should have looked, and she should have ignored the call; known she'd have to phone him again if she picked it up. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Winnie's hand pushed back her pale hair, tugging it over to one side as she leaned onto her knees. She didn't know what to do. "Idiot." She dismissed. 

Maybe she shouldn't have left, maybe she should have stayed there. Least then she wouldn't have to deal with that bullshit. A knock echoed through the room, her heart darting up. "Yeah?" She called out. 

  
  


The door opened. "Just me." Tig said. "Can I come in?" Win nodded, the man leaving the door open as he slipped in; finding her in shorts and Opie's jumper, cuddled within stuffed animals from the fair. He approached, sitting down on the bed before letting his legs stretch out; Winnie watching him cautiously. “What?” 

  
  


“Why are you sitting on my bed?” She asked. 

  
  


He smiled. “What? Your bed, I thought this was Opie’s?” Winnie shot him a look, finding a stupid smile still on his face. “Alright, fine. Just thought, we had a nice day; why not finish this off with a girly movie?” 

  
  


Her brow raised, surprised. “A girly movie, really?” There was no way he was here for a girly movie; no one in their right mind would be. She eyed his feet, finding his boots had already been kicked off, discarded to the side and his socks were resting on her comforter. “C’mon, real reason.” 

  
  


“Meetings over, guys are about to leave; figured if you wanted to give them their animals, now’s the time.” Her cheeks flushed, uncertainty filling her. 

  
  


“I don’t know, it’s kinda lame.” Winnie dismissed quickly, tucking her head beneath her knees. “Think I’ll just leave them here.” 

  
  


Tig looked on surprised, confusion filling him. “Why? We spent so long winning those things. You were so excited.” She shrugged. They were all grown men, not people that’d enjoy those kinds of things. 

  
  


“It’s okay. You don’t have to entertain me, Tig.” The drop in smile said enough as she turned back to the TV. A frown dipped across his brow, her head buried back within the unicorn. Nah, he wasn’t standing for that. He’d spend hours on those stupid games just to see her smile. 

  
  


He glanced away. “Well, if that’s what you think… you don’t mind if I take ‘em then?” Win shook her head. She just didn’t want to seem childish, she just wanted to fit in. Self doubt crippled her like a long standing weight, resting heavy on her shoulders as she watched. Tig stood from the bed, approaching the side table where they sat. 

  
  


The cow still sat as cute as ever for Chibs, a peanut ready for Half-Sack, and Opie had a yogi bear. She’d been half tempted to give Bobby the little Elvis Dog, but she grew nervous once he turned, a stern look on his face; and she wasn’t entirely sure Happy would like the voodoo doll. “Leave, the bear; you can take the others.” 

  
  


Tig pursed his lips, grasping several of them before leaving two. “Alright, doll. I’ll catch you in a bit.” Win nodded again, the door soon closing. Tig didn’t know what had caused the change, but he wasn’t about to let it go to waste. With an armful of stuffed animals, he headed through the club house, finding them all still sitting around the bar. “Gentlemen, I come bearing gifts from Winnie - not that she wanted to hand them over.” 

He thought, mind sifting through them as he tried to remember which one was for who. “Peanut for you Half-Sack, so you can replace the one you lost.” He chucked it over, the boys laughing as he held it. “Bobby, Elvis dog.” 

  
  


Bobby caught it, laughing as he held it beside him. “Look familiar?” 

  
  


“Think the dog’s more attractive.” Juice teased, Bobby pushing him. 

  
  


“And lastly, Happy, you little sick fuck. This one’s for you.” He chucked over the voodoo doll, Happy giving his twisted grin as he nodded. 

  
  


He squeezed it. “Ah yes, you know who this is gonna be named after?” A series of no’s hitting back at him. “Brian.” Winnie’s twisted little step-dad. He poked its stomach, feeling its lining. “Squishy; lookin’ for a good knifing.” 

  
  


Gazes met each other, but Chibs frowned. “Aye, where’s mine?” Every one of the others had them, where was his? Tig looked up from his tiger, confused for a moment as he faked a roar. 

  
  


“Oh, huh? Shit.” He said, shaking his head. “Sorry, man.” 

  
  


His tongue clicked. Part of him was curious what she thought to get him, seeing the other toys fit the guys; he stood up, noticing Juice without one either. “Juicey, you get one?” 

  
  


He nodded, pulling out the lemon from his pocket. “Oh yeah, this thing’s awesome; smells like lemons too.” That was it, he thought, eyeing the shades on the stupid lemon. He was getting his. Leaving the bar, Chibs headed through the hallways, to one of the last doors that sat in the corridor. He could hear the low rumble of the tv, the muffled laugh. 

  
  


Knocking he waited. “Tig, if that’s you, I told you, you can keep the bears.” The voice cried out, a smile rising to his lips. He knocked again. “Jesus, Tig, just come in.” He wasn’t Tig, but Chibs did enter; his hip resting against the door frame as he watched her. Completely engrossed in the screen, lips locked around a beer bottle as she took a sip. 

  
  


“I was wondering where mine is.” The voice caught her off guard.

  
  


Win’s eyes widened with surprise as she coughed, pulling the bottle away from her lips. “Chibs.” She stated, half choked as she covered her mouth. His eyes spotted the huge bear she was sprawled across, another sitting in her thighs. 

  
  


“I hope that one’s mine.” He pointed to the giant thing, a smirk on his lips as she glanced down. Win frowned, confused. “All the boys got teddies, I felt a bit left out. Thought there might have been a bit of a mix up.” 

  
  


Tig, she thought, eyes frozen. “Oh, uh, I told Tig not to give them out.” She said, standing up from her place, hovering at the edge of the bed. 

  
  


His brow rose, clearly the message wasn’t received. “Shame. I’m feeling a little left out. All the club got 'em, and loved 'em.” He muttered as he entered, warm eyes searching around. It wasn’t shabby at all; nicer than the other rooms now that she had moved in. More pink, a nicer blanket, and the naked posters had been removed for a string of fairy light. “So, I’ll ask again.” He muttered, sitting down next to the pink thing, tugging it into his lap. “This one mine?” 

  
  


She shook her head, smirking. “No.” She wasn’t giving that up easily, it was the perfect pillow. He pursed his lips as her eyes darted away, slinking across the room like a cat before plucking something on the side, and holding it. The cow was soft in her hands, with the cutest face as she gave it a squidge. "Here," Winnie turned, passing it to him, a smile spreading across his lips. 

  
  


"Highland cow." A little touch of home. Chibs ran his fingers along its nose before glancing up, finding Winnie's eyes staring wide at him. 

  
  


"Is it okay?" She asked, praying it was. 

  
  


He smiled, the sentiment meant to put her at ease. "It's perfect." Her grin warmed his insides, warmth threatening his cheeks. Winnie rocked on her feet, unsure what to say as she turned back to the bed, sitting down on it. "I'll put it pride of place on my nightstand for you." 

  
  


"Thanks Chibs." He nodded his welcome, glancing down at the cow again, his grin only widening. Someone had really taken the time to find something for him, win it at a rigged game even. The effort wasn't lost as he shot her another look, finding her back in the screen. Deciding this was his time to leave, he turned, shutting the door behind him, and crossing the hall to his own room. 

Winnie's head turned back to look at the door, teeth nibbling at her lips, a warmth settling across her chest, and rising to her neck. It felt nice that the club had liked them, that maybe they wouldn't be as judging as she thought they would be. She peeked back at the bear, giving it a large grin before falling back into its arms, content. This was all she ever wanted, and all she ever needed. 

  
  


Clay’s hand sat on his chin, icy eyes locked onto the table as his jaw clenched. Oswald had been round, so angry at the rape of his daughter, that Clay couldn’t help but feel sickness in his own. That could have easily been Win, and he couldn’t imagine the rage he’d feel at the very thought of her in that position, what he’d do to the man. He watched her, eyes the spitting image of his, sat at the bar; pen in hand, one hand twisting her ponytail as she joked around with Half-Sack, Juice just beside them. 

Rape. He could never stomach the thought, never understood it. Especially not when it happened to young people by elders who knew far better. The door between himself and his daughter felt like a world away, closing off the bond that had been severed by several states for so long. He stood, boots hitting the wood with dull thuds as he walked around, pushing on them. Win glanced over her shoulder, eyes wide before shooting him a heart stopping smile; a genuine happiness in her gaze no matter what. “Baby, come here.” He urged, motioning her in. 

  
  


Win frowned for a moment. “Is everything okay, daddy?” She asked gently, leaving the doors open as he went back to his seat. 

  
  


“No one is to disturb us.” He warned the others. Her eyes darted between Half-Sack and Juice, genuine confusion in her gaze before she slipped from the stool, making her way in. His arms opened in their comforting hug, a smile building at the edge of her lips as she stepped in, seating herself in his lap. Despite the change in her size, and the age that seemed to never stop growing; he still made her feel like his little girl, like nothing bad could happen as long as he held her. 

  
  


Winnie’s arms embraced his neck, nestling herself in. “Is this about the girl? The boys said someone raped her.” So she knew, he resided himself; giving her a tight squeeze. 

  
  


“Yeah, I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if that was you found in those woods.” Her body froze, eyes darted from his hands to outwards. “You’re not to go anywhere without a chaperone, you hear me? Least not until this guy is dealt with.” 

  
  


She nodded, clearing her throat. “I hear you.” Good girl. He really would do what Oswald asked, probably drag it out, make it take hours. “If it’s a club man daddy, isn’t that going to limit your resources? I’m guessin’ you're tryna find him.” 

  
  


He swallowed, the sound audible to her ears. “Yes, but there’s more than enough of us to go around; and Juice can watch over you. He may look three days out of diapers, but I’m sure he’d be able to shoot a gun.” Win smirked, rolling her eyes. She could fire a gun if needed to, that wasn’t her point. “I just want to keep you safe, I don’t want what happened to the girl to happen to you.” She stayed silent. “I don’t know what I’d do, you know? What you’d expect of me? What you’d need?” 

  
  


She thought for a moment, before clearing her throat. “Well, daddy, sometimes, just knowin’ you’re there is enough for me. Knowing you have my back, that you protect me. I can’t speak much for the girl, but I’m sure she’d want to feel the same way, want to feel safe. It’s probably painful to talk about, to think about. Opening up would probably feel like a salt in the wound, helpful sometimes but mostly a sting that’ll never stop.” His head turned out, so many questions lingering in his eyes. “Sometimes, daddy, there are things people like you will never understand.” 

  
  


Maybe she was right, maybe there were things he would never understand. “And if you had a chance at that guy? To make him pay? Would you?” Her eyes were lost, her heart bleeding for the girl going through it. 

  
  


“I don’t know. If I knew I could, like really, really could. I’d do everything in my power to make him hurt. Smash his car, hit him until he’d no longer be able to feel his face, kill him if I could… anything to make him feel the way he had made me feel in that moment.” The ice broke, flickering as she pulled out of her daydream. “But that’s just me. I’m not thirteen, and I didn’t get raped at the fair.” Clay nodded, keeping silent. “You’ll find him Pops, things like that, they come around.” 

  
  


She sat up slightly, looking at him. “Yeah, they will.” Giving him another sweet smile, Winnie went to pull away but he kept her there. “I need you to do something for me today, if that’s okay.” 

  
  


Win nodded. “Of course, anything.” 

  
  


“Just keep people safe, yeah? Make them feel at home, you give people the idea of safety.” She didn’t know whether to feel offended or thankful as her brow cocked. Out of everything, he wanted her to keep people safe? No speak to anyone? Not go see the girl? But to keep people safe. Right. “And keep by Tiggy on the lot, don’t go wandering off where the cops can get you.” She didn’t want that either. Clay let her go, Win turning before opening the door, Tig and Juice already standing there. 

  
  


She stepped back. “Oh. Hi.” 

  
  


Tig jutted his chin to the room, Winnie closing the door. “Everything alright with Boss man in there?” 

  
  


Winnie forced a nod. “Yeah, he’s okay.” A little shaken, but nothing he couldn’t hide. Tig didn’t seem so sure, but Winnie wasn’t about to press it. “This is going to get to everyone, and everyone handles things differently.” She eased, placing her hand on his arm before slipping past. Dad needed her to make people feel safe, but she had her own agenda.

  
  


* * *

“Juice? Juice?” Winnie called out as she made her way across the lot, head turning left and right. This boy was on a walkabout, she was sure of it; she thought, shaking her head. The boys had only just left, her eyes having watched them through the window of the T.M office; there was only one more she had to deal with and then she was out. 

She pushed on the door of the Clubhouse, a deep sigh leaving her lips as she entered, looking around. A bag was on the table, the cupboard open; but no Juice. Winnie stepped around, lips pursing as she shook her head. “Oh, you poor boy.” She could see the bag of pills in his hand, Juice probably not expecting that result from the little candies. Good for her though. “Have a nice nap, Juice.” Running a hand over his short shaved side, she pressed a kiss against his forehead, snatching her set of keys from the bar. 

Winnie knew it was risky as she pursed her lips, feet rushing to her car before anyone else could catch on to what she was doing. Her keys unlocked it swiftly, quickly jamming it into the ignition before starting the car; all before Winnie’s seatbelt was even strapping her in. The wind blew at the stray pale strands, the sun dancing along skin the shade of honey. She needed this as much as that girl did. Hand sitting on the steering wheel, eyes peering out through dark shades as she leaned back in the seat. 

The rebuilding of a person was never an easy journey; like a cracked cobblestone nestling amongst others like it, the cement that held them together was a lifeline, keeping them still and together; making them strong. If there was one thing Winnie understood, it was the destitution of a person’s identity after experiencing abuse, of losing who they thought they were, and finding out who they’d become in the days after. 

She knew Tristen would be feeling it, that who she was known as now - the girl who was raped at fun town - would not be who she was in a few years time; those the ever present triggers would remain; the tightness in her chest, the pounding panic attacks at it happening again. Win’s tongue flicked across her lips, pulling into the car park and parking once she’d arrived in front of the hospital. 

  
  


Her feet carried her, her hands wringing each other nervously as she stepped through. She could see Elliot and his wife, the two like dogs at her door, barking at anyone who wanted to enter. Win waited, watching, thin stiletto tapping at the linoleum. They left, her body slinking her across before knocking. “Yeah?” The voice was low and rough. 

  
  


Winnie entered, closing the door behind her. “Hi, darlin’.” The recognition in Tristen’s eyes was instant, surprise at the Morrow girl standing in her room. “You mind if we talk?” They darted away, but she didn’t say no; so Winnie moved further in, careful in her approach. “I don’t mean to frighten you, and I certainly don’t want to push you either.” She explained before sitting down. 

  
  


“My mom said I should text her if anyone tried to talk to me.” But her fingers weren’t moving. 

  
  


Winnie shook her head, showing the girl she meant no malice as she sat down. “She doesn’t have to know, we’ll just say you messaged me, thought I was easier to talk to.” Being somewhat closer to her age than anyone else. Tristen lowered the phone, a guard up in her pretty eyes. “I’m sorry it had to happen to you, that you were forced to go through that.”  Tristen hissed, glancing away. “We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to. But believe me when I tell you, I know what you’re going through, I know how you feel.” 

  
  


“How could you possibly know? You weren’t… at a fair.” She couldn’t stomach the word, Winnie noted, her head nodding. 

  
  


“No, I wasn’t. But I was in my bedroom, and in the garage, and on the way home from school.” She revealed, ice growing stormy as a thickness built in her throat. “They happened differently, but the act is still the same; the way it makes you feel is still the same.”  The girl looked at her, like really looked at her; trying to find a sense of deception or lies. Winnie was blank, open, ready for her to find whatever it was that she needed. She knew better than to reach over and to take her hand, better than to offer her a hug or a brush back a lock of hair. She wouldn’t want to be touched, or babied; she’d need to feel like her body is hers, that no one can do anything to it. “I was hoping, that maybe, you’d be willing to hear me out, if you want?” 

  
  


She nodded. “Okay.” 

  
  


“The path you’re on now, keeping it locked up, keeping it tight to you - I did that. It’s not the path you should take.” Winnie advised softly, crossing one leg over the other; her arms wrapping around herself for comfort. “Your situation is different, the man that did this to you… He can be touched, and he can be hurt, and he can be made to feel what you felt. This rage, this anger, this feeling of not belonging… It’ll pass when you speak about it, when you acknowledge it.” 

  
  


“How can you say that? If you haven’t done that.” Her voice was soft, but it had iron undertones; she was stronger than anyone would believe. 

  
  


“Because that’s what I wished had happened for me - maybe if it had, I’d still have my job, I’d have my independence. I came running back for my daddy because he made me feel safe; like I couldn’t be touched again.” The club gave her that security, the men felt like she was protected. “You do what you need to, but I’m here, baby, if you need to talk about it.” Winnie gathered her stuff back up, going to turn. 

  
  


Tristen watched her. “It was the clown - at least I think it was, his makeup still clung to the edges of his face.” 

  
  


Winnie glanced back. “Anything that might help us identify him?” 

  
  


“His torso, I…” She tried to get away. Winnie gave her a smile, digging her hand into pocket before pulling out a receipt, and sprawling her number across. 

  
  


“Thank you, for being brave, for opening up. If you ever need it, you can phone me. Anytime, whatever you’re feeling, I’ll be there.” Tristen nodded, taking it. Winnie left her, slipping back out the hospital before digging her hand in her pocket, pulling her phone out from it and dialling Jax’s number. 

  
  


It rang, loud and piercing against her ear as her hands shook, blood pouring through her ears. She was calm, and she was safe, and she was so far away from it all. But the feeling, the remembering… It made her sick for a moment. “Winnie? Winnie!” 

  
  


She broke out of it, swallowing, and shaking her head. “Jax, I spoke to Tristen.” 

  
  


“You what?!” His tone was angry, but he needed this info. 

  
  


“I know who it is, it was the clown.” 

  
  


Winnie couldn’t help but feel exhausted by the time she crawled herself into bed, arms wrapping around her calves, as her knees tucked beneath her chin. There was so much to unpack, to think about. She knew her dad had the man castrated, that he’d slit his balls from one side to another, and let him bleed out. If he was willing to do that for Tristen, she could only imagine what he would have done to hers had he found out. 

Her stomach turned, hands still shivering despite the heat that surrounded her. Winnie didn’t want this, she didn’t want to remember it. But as she laid there in her bed, nothing but it swarmed her mind; forcing her to remember, to go through it all over again. She shot up from her place, grasping her blanket and the toy unicorn. There was only one place she needed to go. 

Winnie’s hands twisted the blanket as she stepped out into the hallway, teeth digging into her lip sharply as she looked to his door. Win knocked, short and sharp; hesitating as she waited. Happy was always in, with a military straight room, clean and spick and span. His arms were always open. The door pulled back, Happy stoic as he faced her before smiling. She didn’t smile back, the concern already swimming in his dark eyes. “What’s wrong?” 

  
  


“Can I sleep with you?” The question was soft, her voice low before Happy nodded, wrapping her up in his comforting arms. He smelt like aftershave, a tiny hint of bleach lingering in his shirt. She loved how familiar he was, how much he felt like home. 

  
  


“You want to talk about it?” Win shook her head, arms wrapped around his waist, face buried into his chest. “C’mon, we’ll snuggle.” 


	8. Goosebumps rise to the surface

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i take the tips of my fingers  
> place them inside his forearm  
> and graze them down his wrist  
> goose bumps rise to the surface  
> \- Page 62

Winnie pressed herself against Happy’s side as the morning began to roll in; he’d probably long since been up, but too polite to actually wake her. He was like that. Hands pushed back at the pale blonde, fingers scratching at her scalp as her eyes fluttered open, warm brown staring down at her. “Mornin’.” She muttered, reaching up to give his forearm a squeeze. 

  
  


“You look better.” He was straightforward, blunt to a fault. 

  
  


Winnie grinned. “Gee, thanks.” Happy cracked a smile, helping her up but keeping a firm arm around her waist. Her hands fell back to her lap, nail running along the back of her palm as she traced the small snake that sat in the crevice between her middle and first finger. 

  
  


“You still don’t want to talk about it.” It was a flat question, meant more as a statement than a question. 

  
  


She nodded. “Pretty much.” Happy nodded before rolling out of bed, hands reaching out for her. “Kicking me out already?” 

  
  


“Getting you down for breakfast, chapel was this morning.” Her eyes widened, jaw tightening before she nodded. He’d probably missed it. 

  
  


“Shit, I’m sorry Happy, you should have woken me.” Happy shook his head, but Win rushed, grabbing her blanket and unicorn before pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Don’t be so nice, it isn’t needed.” He flushed, but shook his head regardless. 

  
  


“It’s my job to be nice.” She shot him a look, smirking. That’ll be the day. Happy was known for being cold, and weird; it’s what made him perfect. “Heading to Indiana Hills for a Patch Over.” 

  
  


Her brow rose. “Patch Over? What’s that?” Were they getting new members? 

  
  


It was Happy's turn to smirk, head shaking. "It's opening a new charter; if they accept, it's a full day of young, tight pussy; and all the alcohol you can drink." Winnie's tummy turned, queasy as she thought to all the guys she knew. She didn't want to think of them like that, but they had the mentality of ' _ boys will be boys _ ', and that meant what happened on the road wasn't influenced by married life, or life here. Girls were theirs for the taking, whichever one they wanted, they'd have. Happy coughed, seeing her face. "Yah know, it's-" 

  
  


"It is what it is." She finished for him, forcing a smile and brushing back her hair. "Is everyone going or…" A pair of kind eyes flashed across her mind, Winnie quick to banish it as soon as it rose. 

  
  


Happy shook his head. "No. Tig and Juice are fronting something else; Chibs'll be away too." Her ears perked up like a dog, Happy shooting her a look. "Everything alright?" 

  
  


"Everything's fine." Winnie promised. “Let’s get down to breakfast, huh?” He perked up, nodding. “Meet you down there?” 

  
  


“Yeah.” She left his room, crossing back into her own before dumping herself on the bed, arms wrapping around herself. She hated the idea of them being gone, of the very mischief they could get themselves into. Win knew they were smart, that everything they did in the club was protected; but part of her couldn’t help but worry. Her feet sunk into the comforter, eyes searching the ceiling as she pursed her lips. At least Chibs, Tig, and Juice would be here, she wouldn’t be completely alone if anything was to go wrong. It gave her peace of mind. 

  
  


She rolled, reaching over for her phone as her feet kicked lazily; fingers quick to work through the texts. Members of SAMTEX just wanting to see how she was, Opie checking in for… Today! Winnie sat up quickly, typing a quick reply back to him as she began to throw off her pyjamas, swapping them for jeans and a jumper. “Fuck.” She muttered, shaking her head as her icy eyes desperately tried to search for her boots. 

A hand reached out beneath her desk, tugging the croc leather out before dumping her foot into it; body already turning to the next thing. She was guessing Jax wasn't going to make it, the little excursion being just Ope and her. Spraying perfume, and slicking back her hair; she grasped the Yogi bear, mind a mess as she dumped whatever into a small purse ready for Opie’s saddlebag. 

Shit, Winnie thought, pulling open a draw and finding the stash empty. She was supposed to provide the Weed. Digging out the lighters and papers, she dumped them in her purse, before gazing across like a wild cat. The room looked turned around; pyjamas left in a mess on the floor, bears barely clinging alongside blankets, and rogue thongs thrown across the sides. Win slammed the door shut, hesitating as she stood in the doorway. 

There was only one man that could get her the weed fast. “JUICEY!” Her voice was loud, cutting across the hallways as all eyes in the bar lifted, looking to one another. Win crossed her arms, shoe tapping as she listened out. “JUICE!” 

  
  


“She’s either getting banged into the next life, or he’s done something wrong; take your bets fellas.” Tig uttered quickly, already pulling a five dollar bill from his pocket. “My money’s on the bang.” 

  
  


“Isn’t it a bit early for this shit, man?” Jax asked, brushing his blonde hair behind his ear. “And that’s my sister you’re talking about.”

  
  


Tig shrugged. “Exactly. Your sister, not mine.” Jax's lips curled in disgust, Tig shooting him a grin. 

  
  


"How long so you reckon it'll take her to figure out I'm in here?" All eyes turned to Juice walking in from the front door, surprise taking them. "Could hear her from all the way in the T.M office." 

  
  


"Hell, I didn't even know you were there, man. And I've been guarding that thing for five minutes." Bobby muttered. 

  
  


Another loud call rang out before boots stomped down the hallway, Winnie rounding the corner. Her brows rose, eyes lighting as she spotted Juice. "Juicey!" She cried out, wrapping her arms around his shoulder. 

  
  


"Morning, Win." He greeted, flushing at the extra attention. The boys rose a brow, questioning lingering in their eyes at their closeness. 

  
  


"I need a favour," She continued. "I need some weed, and I've got no time to swing by anywhere else. You think you can cover me." 

  
  


He nodded, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a large pack. "This'll cover it?" 

  
  


Win grasped it. "More than enough, thanks baby boy." She pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I owe you, whatever you want, let me know." Eyes shifted between eyes, brows raising. Anything Juice wanted? 

  
  


"You really sure you want to say that, Win?" Tig asked, the ice locking onto ice as she glanced up. 

  
  


Win frowned. "Of course, why wouldn't I? He did me a solid." What were the guys getting at? 

  
  


Juice smirked. "Anything?" Win nodded again. "I want to watch live girl on girl." 

  
  


Tig's head dropped, Chibs rolling his eyes. "Out of everything that is what you go for? Are you stupid, lad?" The Scottish cut across the table, the boys quick to agree. 

  
  


Juice frowned, confused. "What?" Win equally as confused. When she meant she owed him, she didn't mean that. She meant a little favour; money, paying for a lap dance, introducing him to a girl for a distraction. Not, that. It clocked, Win looking between them. 

  
  


"That's not what I meant." She weakly protested, those around her smirking as Juice stood. 

  
  


"Sorry Win, it's what you said." There was no way she was doing that. 

  
  


"Look, let the boy think about what he wants as a favour, and we'll present them to you when you get back, eh? Make it like a game." Chibs offered, Winnie going to protest.

  
  


She sighed. "This was not what I meant. But if we're really doing this, I want rules." 

  
  


Jax nodded. "Alright, as brother to all of you, I'll mediate." Mediate. Big word coming from her brother, Win thought teasingly. 

  
  


"Wait, wait, wait." Tig halted, raising his hand. "If we're setting rules on favours, it's gotta be a club wide thing. Winnie got weed, and Juice is left to decide. I already know Juice owes me one, so I want my favour to be his for Win." 

  
  


"No way, man!" Juice shouted over. 

  
  


Jax looked between them. "No one is trading favours. You gotta earn them in order to hold a favour. Which means, a favour isn't passing a beer over or doing some menial task. It's going out your way, lending them something vital, or something like that." He warned.

  
  


"Can I have a for instance?" Asked Half-Sack, nervously. 

  
  


He nodded. "For instance, I ask Chibs here to lend me a bike for the day - I owe him a favour. Win comes to you and asks you to cover a shift - that's a favour. If Tig decides to save Happy's ass-" 

  
  


"Not likely to happen." Happy cut in, Jax ignoring it as Tig pushed him. 

  
  


"That's a favour. Everyone got it?" They nodded. 

  
  


Tig rose a hand. "What are our rules for the favours?" 

  
  


Jax thought on it, Win feeling Juice wrap an arm around her waist, her body moving to sit down on his knee. A plate of muffins sat in front of her, her hand reaching for it before pulling at the top, offering some to Juice. "No stupid favours - like girl on girl." He muttered, pointing to Juice. "No letting them destroy their reputation - dumb jokes are okay, but not cruel ones. And nothing that's gonna cause real harm. This is just a bit of fun." 

  
  


"But sexual…?" Tig pressed on. Win giggled, Jax reluctantly nodded. 

  
  


"Only if the other party is okay with it, or the person in question is aware." Tig grinned; that wouldn't be a problem. "Everyone agreed?" A series of ays rang out, Jax slamming his hand to the table. "It's decided." The door to the club opened again, Opie's head popping around the frame; Jax waved him in. “Hey Ope.” 

  
  


He nodded. “Hey guys, Win about?” Her hand shot up, throwing a smile over Juice’s shoulder at him. “Ah, you ready to go?” 

  
  


“Yeah.” She muttered quickly, standing from Juice’s lap and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Thanks again, Juicy. And remember, think wisely.” Win pressed another kiss to Tig’s cheek as he held it out for her, and then one to Happy, before approaching Opie, arms wrapping around his shoulders. “Let’s go eat until our stomachs burst.” 

  
  


He smiled. “You sure you want to miss out on this, Jax? We’re going through three times.” Win shot him a look, but Ope tugged her, making her stumble. 

  
  


Jax shook his head. “I’d be there if I could brother, but you know club business.” That he did. “Maybe some other time.” 

  
  


“Heard that one before.” Ope teased. “Got everything, the weed and all that?” 

  
  


Win nodded, holding up the baggy. “You can thank Juice for that.” Opie grasped it, settling it into his jacket pocket as he smirked. 

  
  


“I owe you one Juice.” All eyes widened as Juice smirked, nodding his head; Happy shaking his head, and Jax sighing. Oh, the poor giant baby. 

  
  


He smirked. “I’ll collect yours and Winnie’s favours later.” Juice muttered, smirking almost victoriously as he grasped his Kutte, throwing it over his shoulders. 

  
  


Opie raised a brow, groans filling the room. “Something I should know?” 

  
  


“I’ll fill you in on the way there.” Win muttered, patting his chest sympathetically. “Let’s go.” 

  
  


“Stay safe.” Jax advised, the others waving as Winnie and Opie left. Win held Opie’s hand as she skipped ahead of him, his bike sitting nicely in the lot. It’d be one hell of a day while the others were over in Indiana Hills; the basking of the sun, the wind in their hair, and greasy burgers in their stomach. 

  
  


Her eyes darted to her purse; shit, she forgot her glasses. “Hey Ope, take my purse, I forgot my glasses.” She muttered, thrusting the pink thing into his hands before he could utter out a complaint, thin heels crossing her across the lot back into the clubhouse. The table had nearly all but cleared, Win giving an acknowledging nod to Half-Sack as she passed. 

  
  


“You’re back quick.” He tried to joke, Win shooting him a look as she shook her head. Slipping into the halls, a figure blocked her, Chibs. His kind eyes darted down, body not turning in time as he sent her a look, Winnie sending one back. 

  
  


“Forget something?” He asked, curious. 

  
  


She sighed. “What do you think?” She went to brush past, but he blocked her, hip settling on the wall. “What? C’mon, I gotta-” 

  
  


“Where are you going?” He asked, jaw taunt as he faced her. 

  
  


Winnie’s brow rose, confused. “Sonic, it’s a fair drive away. Why?” Was something wrong? 

  
  


“Just stay safe, yeah lass?” Her brows only deepened, but she nodded regardless. “Don’t need you getting shot up on the back of a bike.” Maybe something had gone on? But surely if something had gone on, all the boys would be here getting guns and her day with Opie would be cancelled. 

  
  


Win took a step closer, her voice lowering. “Is something wrong?” She asked. “Something you guys aren’t telling me about?” 

  
  


“What? No. I’m just… I’m just trying to be nice.” Her brows shot up in surprise, the blue breaking in shock. 

  
  


“Oh, uh, you too, I guess. At patch-over…” With the girls. “Keep it protected.” 

  
  


A snort burst from Chibs as he laughed. “You really just say that, lass?” Say what? To stay safe at Patch-over with the beautiful girls that would be passed between them. Her stomach churned uncomfortably. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m not going to patch-over.” He told her, before smirking. “And I’m always… protected for those activities.” The skin tugged around the scars, eyes drawn to their place before flicking up. 

  
  


She flushed red, glancing down to her hands. “Oh, well. Double protection never hurts.” He nodded, reaching into his back pocket. 

  
  


“Here, you left them on the table earlier. I was going to put them in your room, but I’m guessing you came back for them.” There sat her cat-eye sunnies, Winnie reaching for them; fingers slipping across his as she picked them up from his hand. 

  
  


“Thank you.” She muttered softly. 

  
  


“You’re welcome.” He said back, their hands dropping to their sides, but a notable warmth was spreading along her chest. She didn’t seem to toy with Chibs like she did with the others, keeping her reserve around him like a nervous schoolgirl. 

  
  


Win rocked on her heels, unsure if she should utter her next words. It was a risk, but it was a risk she wanted to take. There was no denying that he wasn’t a beautiful man; that her eyes hadn’t been drawn to him every time he passed. Something about the leather he wore beneath his kutte, the tight jeans, and the two knives she knew were held in holsters beneath it. But most of all, it was the way he held his mouth; how his tongue darted along his lips. “Do you owe me a favour now?” They were laced in something more as her hands wrapped around themselves behind her back; nervous and innocent in disposition. 

  
  


The kind brown glinted. “Depends, if you think you could fulfil it.” Had he picked up on it? On the double edge sword she had swung. Maybe he had. 

  
  


A shot jolted through Win, her body alive with electricity. “I think you’ll find I might just.” A door opened, breaking the two as they looked towards it, Bobby exiting before staring between the two, confused. “I better get back to Ope.” 

  
  


“I’ll walk you.” Silently, they fell into step with each other; brows drawn, minds filled with what to say. 

  
  


Win chose to break the silence, her head turning. “If you’re not at patch-over, what will you be doing?” She asked, curious. 

  
  


“Going north to meet the Irish, I’ll be overlooking club needs there for a while.” She nodded. That meant he’d be away for a couple of days, busy. 

  
  


“You’ll miss the fundraiser.” Win noted, Chibs smirking. 

  
  


“With great relief.” He teased. “I’m guessing Gemma’s roped you in?” Of course she had, she’d roped in half of the Old Ladies too. Biker gang serving chilli to the good folks of Charming at a school fundraiser, the idea was almost laughable but Gemma was committed. 

  
  


Winnie laughed, nodding her head. He couldn’t help but like the sound, the light that lit up those blue eyes. “I think she wants me to run the Chilli Booth with her, but… I’d probably do better flashing my tits for the dads.” She joked. “Cooking and serving was never my forte.” 

  
  


“Aye, half of Charming would pay to see them - they’d raise the money in an hour tops, and then some.” Chibs agreed, the laughter not dying from his eyes. “What are you doing, really?” 

  
  


“I’ll be dishing up the chilli; that’s it, promise.” The door was coming closer now, and a small, selfish part of her didn’t want this conversation to end. 

  
  


Chibs seemed to have the same idea as he stopped her in the doorway, hand locking onto her bicep. “This gig have any breaks?” 

  
  


She shrugged. “Maybe, why? You swinging by?” The smile she got sent flutters to her chest, heart beating irregularly. 

  
  


He looked away nonchalantly. “No. Won’t be there, but would you care if I called you?” Winnie took a deep breath, He wanted to call her. 

  
  


“You sure you’re not busy with club business?” Club came before everything, they both knew that. 

  
  


“I think I can take five minutes out to make sure you haven’t been chatted to death by dads.” She smiled, shaking her head. Little chance of that happening, Winnie was taught how to manage small talk, and how to be polite. She was the daughter of a beauty queen, someone who strived to be part of the community. 

  
  


His hand dropped to her elbow, eyes glancing into hers as goosebumps trailed her skin from his touch. “And if I have? Are you going to avenge me?” Win questioned. 

  
  


A tongue flicked against his lips, corners drawn up. “Aye, I might just have to.” Winnie giggled, light and airy as she shook her head. “If you don’t answer the phone, I’m going to assume the worst.” He pulled out a pack of cigarettes, fiddling with the lid as Winnie’s hands came up, pulling one from the container and letting it settle in her ruby red lips.

  
  


“Looks like you’ll be held in limbo until then, Mr Telford. I’ll be anticipating your call.” Yeah, he hoped she would; Chibs thought, silencing his thoughts the moment they rose. He was playing a dangerous game. Stepping from his grasp, she threw him a cheeky smile as she pulled on her shades. “Don’t leave me waiting long.” 

  
  


“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He promised, watching her go. With a shimmy to her hips, she jogged her way across the lot, careful not to twist her ankles in her heels as she caught up to Opie. 

  
  


He offered her a helmet, her hands taking it as his eyes flickered to where she’d come from. “Everything alright?” He asked, concern swimming in his dark eyes; the size of her grin undeniable as happiness tugged at her cheeks. 

  
  


“Perfectly fine.” Better than perfectly fine. Win pulled the helmet on as she lit a cigarette, the stick sitting between her lips as she climbed on after Opie. He didn’t press it any further as he hummed, glancing back to Chibs again, at the gaze that darted to a pack of cigarettes in his hand. 

  
  


“You sure you can handle today? Won’t make yourself sick when you get home?” He asked, before hitting the ignition. 

  
  


Win shook her head, eyes falling to the reaper on the building, at the body of Chibs standing beneath it. He gave her a jut of his chin, a smirk raising at the corner of her lips. “I’ll be fine.” 

  
  


Nestled a short drive from Sonic, up in the dry dusty hills of California; Winnie and Ope sat on a small verge that overlooked a glimpse of the city. The bike cut off behind them, a joint shared between them as crumpled up burger wrappers littered the space between them, Opie holding a fry as he stared at it, contemplating. “So what was that thing earlier? About the owing?” Opie asked as he bit into it, eyes closing, savouring the taste on his tongue. 

  
  


Win glanced over, head spinning, a little too spaced out to hear properly as she squinted. “Huh, owing? Um, I don’t know. I said to Juice I’d do whatever he wanted because he gave me the bag of weed, but the boys seemed to take it further.” She muttered, glancing down to her jeans, a drop of ash sitting on the dark denim. 

  
  


“Oh yeah, they get funny about that.” Ope pointed out, nodding. “He tell you what he wanted?”

  
  


“Something about wanting to watch live girl on girl, but the guys are making him think about it. Said it was a waste.” She just thought of how she was going to convince two girls to let Juice watch ‘em go down on one another. She didn’t know many girls, but she was sure she could introduce herself; Win thought, pursing her lips and flicking the ash away. It had singed the fabric, a little hard crust sitting on a small patch as she ran her nail over it. “It’s become this thing now with favours; I’d hate to think about what’s going to happen with it.”

  
  


He laughed, looking away. “Yeah, that is a stupid favour.” 

  
  


Win glanced, blue eyes cutting. “What’s a good favour then? You’re going to have to explain it to me.” 

  
  


“Imagine it, you have someone completely at your mercy to fulfil whatever wish you wanted.” He explained, dark eyes warming up. “You could ask them to find you the most fuckable person in a bar, or get them to beat down the worst person you’ve met - you could make a move on them if you wanted to, if that’s what your favour was. It’s limitless.” There were some limits, Winnie pondered eyes heavy. 

  
  


“What would you do with yours? And who’d you want it with?” She asked, curious. 

  
  


He smiled. “I’d want a favour from Jax; tell him to sort his head out, to sort mine out too. To go back to what we were like when we were younger, before prison.” Ope glanced down as a small hand sat over his, giving it a squeeze. Win understood his pain, understood what he’d lost in those five years. 

  
  


“That’s a good one.” Win agreed, eyes not meeting his as she smiled out over the city. 

  
  


“What about you? Who’d you want yours from?” She thought, brows deepening. It’d depend what she wanted from her favour. The man with the kind eyes, she could ask for a kiss; or force her brother to promise not to lose his shit when she would eventually tell him the real reason why she left Charming - same for her father and Opie. Or maybe she would use her favour with Happy to complete what he wanted, to see the person who’d dealt her so much pain, dead. 

  
  


Her head shook. “I don’t know. Probably make ‘em strip in front of the club.” She teased, hiding what she really wanted beneath a thin veil of laughter. “I don’t think I could ask you guys to do anything with real weight… But you should make Jax do that if you get his favour, I think it’ll do him wonders.” 

  
  


“You mind doing me a favour? Outside of this little game.” Opie asked, seriousness in his tone as he focused on a far out building, lights flickering on with the late evening. 

  
  


Winnie nodded. “Anything.”

  
  


“Next time you see Donna, will you be a friend to her? I worry she’s so deep in stress that she’ll forget how to smile.” He muttered, concerned. 

  
  


“That bad?” Win asked, peeking up. There was one thing about Ope that she adored, and that was how loyal he was. He cared so much about little things, and people that it never failed to warm her heart. Maybe that’s why she had called him the BFG when she was little, because that’s exactly what he was, even if at times he was violent, and angry, and lost. 

  
  


“Yeah. I just want things to go back to the way they were before I got locked up, you know? Maybe then she wouldn’t be so harsh with the club.” He carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

  
  


Win nodded. “I’ll do that, Gemma’s hosting some kind of fundraiser - you should come along.” She egged, pushing her shoulder against his. “The kids’ll enjoy it, might encourage Donna to join in.” 

  
  


“You gonna be there?” He asked, eyes meeting. 

  
  


“Chilli booth. I get the joy of distribution.” A teasing tone to her voice. 

  
  


Opie smiled. “Stepford wives, huh?” She hummed, half tempted to laugh. “What was that thing with Chibs this morning? You gettin’ cosy?” The blue snapped to his, smile dropping as she watched him. 

  
  


“No.” She said curtly. “Would it matter if I did?” 

  
  


He shrugged. “Mixing up with club business isn’t smart, Bee; you should know not to get involved with the Sons, it’ll only lead down the wrong road.” Is that the same thing he would have told Donna when she was younger? She remembered the way he pursued her, the way he used his kutte to woo her with his danger. 

  
  


“I’m already mixed up, Opie. You can’t keep me protected forever.” She warned. 

  
  


“I can. By keeping you away from men like us; you deserve better, same way Donna does.” Her stomach turned uncomfortably, churning up her insides as she pulled her knees to her, defensive. “It’ll only lead to heartbreak, and misery.” 

  
  


Winnie rose, brushing her jeans as her eyes turned to the city. It looked so beautiful this far away, like everything could be perfect in that hub. “My life is filled with heartbreak, and misery, Ope. My choice is my choice, and if I chose to get involved with one of the Sons, you are not to get involved, do you understand me?” 

  
  


He followed behind her, standing and shaking his head. “I can’t promise that Winnie, I care about you too deeply to let that happen.” 

  
  


“Then you’ll be responsible for my heartbreak, and misery. What do you care about more?” The words were harsh, an unspoken tone between the two as they stared off one another. “I’m old enough to handle myself, Ope. I’ve survived much more than you realise, and if I want something, I’m going to take it, do you understand that?” 

  
  


The cold air was beginning to pick up, chilling their bones. “I’m just protecting you.” He argued. 

  
  


“I don’t need protecting, not like this.” Her heart was hers to give to whoever she wanted to give it to; whether that be a Son, a Cop, or someone from a rival gang. It was hers, and hers alone. 

  
  


“And if they break my heart? You expect me to pick up the pieces?” He’d be there for her always, regardless of what would happen; Opie knew that, and he knew she knew that. 

  
  


“I can pick up my own pieces, Ope. I’m a big girl now.” Not a ruined teenager, or a lovesick puppy. They had to see that, just as much as she did. 

  
  


He sighed, arms reaching for her before wrapping around her shoulders; face smushed against his chest. Winnie breathed deeply, eyes closing at the smell. “I love you Win, I’ll protect you, always.” 

“I love you too, Opie.” 

  
  



	9. Let me have a taste of that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You look like you smell of honey and no pain,   
> let me have a taste of that  
> \- Page 60

Win stood at the edge of the booth, ladle in hand, eyes watching as she stirred the pot of meat and beans. They’d been busy setting up, enough gazebos for each booth, and enough space for the people of Charming to wander around, ready to let go of their hard earned dollar for the school district. Gemma - bless her - had been full of stress as she ordered them around, wanting everything perfect when they really did arrive. “How’s it looking, sweetie?” She asked, hand settling on Win’s back as her face turned. 

  
  


“Like Chilli.” She muttered, unsure as she lifted the ladle, the meat dripping back to the bowl. She cringed, raising a brow at Gemma, as Gemma nodded. 

  
  


“Yeah, I think you got that spot on.” Gemma agreed sarcastically, throwing her a smirk. “It’s fine, it looks edible.” She eased, stroking her hand along her back. 

  
  


Win shot her a look, the cheeky smile tugging at her lips. “Is that because you cooked it, or you’re just praying?” 

  
  


A pinch to her bum, Winnie jolting on the spot. “Don’t get sassy with me, I’ll put you over my knee.” 

  
  


She giggled, shaking her head. “I’d like to see that.” Their eyes darted to Tig, an easy grin on his lips as he leaned forward. “Hey, ma.” He greeted Gemma, her dark eyes already searching. 

  
  


“Elvis here yet?” 

  
  


Tig stuck his thumb out, motioning behind him. “Little fat, don’t you think?” 

  
  


Gemma ignored the comment, shaking her head as she stepped around the table. “You’re late!” She scolded, walking away with Bobby as Tiggy joined her side. 

  
  


“Hey, doll.” He greeted, a kiss pressed to her cheek as she leaned against him. 

  
  


She muttered a hey back, continuing to stir the pot. “Here for business or pleasure?” She asked, curious why the bikers were here at all. She thought they’d want to avoid it as best they can, do some kind of dodgy shit elsewhere. 

  
  


He smirked. “With you, baby? Always pleasure.” The blue rolled, but the smile remained. “Nah, we’re just here in case trouble breaks out. Kyle, the guy who got Opie locked away, he’s here.” 

  
  


Winnie’s head darted up, a brow raising in surprise. “Ope signed off on that?” He didn’t tell her. 

  
  


Tig nodded. “Surprisingly.” Win shook her head; the nerve of that guy. “It was actually Gemma who brought it forward, said his kids wanted him here to see him play.” 

  
  


“Deserves to rot for what he did.” Winnie hissed harshly. “Opie missed out on so many important years because of his fuck up; and now he’s allowed to enjoy this?” Her jaw clenched. 

  
  


He shrugged. “I know. Don’t worry, we’ll remind him of his boundaries, we’ll let him know he’s not welcome.” She nodded as her free arm wrapped around his waist, hip knocking against his. “Worst comes to worst, just spit in his food. I’m sure he’ll love it.” 

  
  


“Very funny. Gem would kill me.” Literally, for ruining her family chilli. 

  
  


“Ah, be worth it though. Bet the fuck would get off to it too.”

  
  


Win shot him a look. “Do you ever not turn things weird?” She questioned, confused. 

  
  


He frowned. “No. I get off to it.” Of course, she thought, smirking. “Come on, let’s break you out of here Princess, go and explore.”

  
  


“Gonna win me another bear? Chibs was highly offended when he thought he didn’t get one.” Tig looked at her, head cocked. 

  
  


“He was?” She nodded, biting down on her lip. Didn’t sound like him, but then again, Chibs had been doing all manner of weird things lately. “If you want another bear, I’ll win you another bear though. That day at the fair gave me plenty of practice.” 

  
  


Win shook her head. “Think I’m good though, thanks.” He began to tug her, pulling her from the pot as he slid past the others. 

  
  


“Hey, Luann. Can you watch this? I’m gonna take Winnie here around the lot.” Her Aunt Luann nodded, a wide grin on her face as she waved the pair off, eyes darting between the two of them. “So come on, what’d you want to see first? Pensioners arguing over money? Kids trying to buy drugs off of members? World’s your oyster.” 

  
  


She shook her head. “No, I gotta meet Ope at the gate, you think you want to stick around for that?” 

  
  


Tig nodded. “Nothing better to do, buttercup.” Win grinned, walking with him. They passed by various stalls, full of knick knacks and raffle tickets, a grill with cops handing out burgers. Kids seemed to run between them all with a handful of dollars, and excitement running through their veins. 

  
  


"Man, I wish I still was that age." She muttered, frowning. "Life seemed so much easier then." 

  
  


Tig smirked. "What are you talking about? You're only, what? Two years older than them?" 

  
  


"Very funny." Win rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "I mean the energy, look at that. I still get winded walking up the stairs, fear I might pass out at the top." 

  
  


"Wait till you get to my age, then you can start complaining." He said, smiling. That was one thing she loved about Tig, he was always in a good mood no matter what. 

  
  


His hand squeezed her hip. "What? You feel it after a day of shooting, fucking, and punching? Shocker." It was Tig's turn to roll his ocean blue eyes. "But really though, let's get some sugar. I wanna see if we can get that rush." 

  
  


"You want a rush? There's something sitting in my pocket for that." Drugs? Their eyes met, Win shaking her head. 

  
  


"I meant legal. Tig. Save those for an after party." The grin meant he was about to say something else, but her hand clamped onto his shirt. "I mean it, you can buy me an ice pole now." 

  
  


He sighed, no malice in his tone. "If that's what Princess wants, that's what she'll get." Oh she definitely wanted that. Their feet stumbled to the stand, Tig annoying her as they went before queueing just like everyone else. "What flavour?" 

  
  


"Cherry." She muttered as they grew closer, her eyes running along the field. There seemed to be enough people to run a small factory, kids pouring out of every gate as they squealed at their mothers, hands tugging at their sleeves. "You got kids, Tig?" She asked, curious. 

  
  


Looking at him, she'd say no. Having too much fun chasing skirts, or shooting; he didn't always seem sentimental. "Oh yeah, two of em. Both girls." Winnie's brows show up in surprise. "Don’t see 'em often, but they phone." 

  
  


"That surprises me, you don't seem paternal." She muttered without thinking. 

  
  


He looked at her. "Hey, I won you those bears at the fair; and now I'm buying you ice cream. If that don't say Father of the year, I don't know what will." He had a point, her own father hadn’t even done that with her. 

  
  


"Very sorry, daddy, forgive me." Win pressed a kiss to his cheek before laughing. Tig's arm wrapped around, locking her into a headlock before pushing her away, smiles on both their faces. 

  
  


"Funny. I've heard you use the same tone with your own dad." He muttered as they moved next in line. 

  
  


She shrugged. "What can I say? It gets me what I want." Didn't doubt it. Eyes like the sky, and a smile as sinful as honey; battering those lashes, and she’d hold the world in her hands - much like his own daughters did for him. “But about your daughters, they live local?” 

  
  


“No, they live with their mother; I think.” He thought; Win chuckled slightly as she nodded. “Why you askin’ me this?”

  
  


“I’m just curious! Like I said, you don’t seem paternal, but you’re old.” Old? His jaw dropped as they came up next, Win’s grin not dropping as she stepped forward. 

  
  


“What can I get you, darlin’?” The kind woman uttered as she stood in a pink uniform, a hand on hip as a wrinkled smile sitting in her eyes. 

  
  


Win’s hands settled on the edge. “A cherry ice pop, and…” She glanced at Tig. “Dad, what do you fancy?” 

  
  


The glare was enough to cut somebody in two. “Yeah, just get me a creamsicle, doll, please.” The woman nodded, a finger digging into Winnie’s hip as she jumped away. He was a light shade of offended. 

  
  


“Here,” The server said, passing them over. “Three dollars.” Tig dug into his pockets dumping down the bills before nodding his thanks, and pulling Winnie away. Her fingers fiddled with the ice cold pop for a moment as she pushed on the red ice, careful not to shoot it from the wrapped before lowering her lips, letting them lock around the top. It was sweet on the tongue, like syrup as she pulled back, blinking several times 

  
  


“Holy shit.” She muttered, brows raising. “Now I get how they have so much energy, this is like, pure sugar.” 

  
  


He motioned it over, Winnie raising it before his hands locked around hers, clutching the pole and locking his lips around it. The blue widened, flinching in disgust as he pulled away. “Christ, how can you stand that?” 

  
  


“I don’t know, but it’s delicious.” Winnie let it sit back on her tongue, smiling around the red. By the end, she was hoping it would turn her tongue red, the lipstick she wore unaffected. “C’mon, we gotta get to the gates, they should be here by now.” 

  
  


The gates were the place between the lot and the fundraiser, almost everyone having to pass through as they dodged groups of people. Her eyes searched the lot for their car, see if maybe they’d arrived yet or not. Was possible with messing around this morning, and getting ice creams, that she’d missed them completely. Her shoulders slumped, seeing it had already pulled in. “Shit.” She muttered. “They’re already here somewhere.” 

  
  


“No problem, we’ll find ‘em. Isn’t hard to miss Big Foot.” Winnie shot him a look but knew there was a truth to it; Opie was like the friendly giant amongst smurfs. “Aye, see!” He pointed to Opie finding him amongst the egg tossers. 

  
  


“You’re good.” She admitted, nodding her head. Tig smirked, the pair approaching the family. Opie stared wide eyed for a moment as Win tugged Tig along, the pair holding ice creams, and laughing. “Donna.” Win said as she turned, offering the dark haired woman a small hug. 

The two were, in some ways, perfect for each other. Quiet, headstrong, and stubborn at times; their kids no doubt eventually having the same traits, although, hopefully without some bitterness. “Kenny, Ellie.” 

  
  


“Auntie Winnie!” She hadn’t seen the two in years as she wrapped her arms around them; most of their communication having been through sweet letters usually around the holiday time. 

  
  


“You enjoying your day? Great weather for it, huh?” The two nodded, smiling up at her as she let them go. “Why don’t you go play on the bouncy castle? I’m gonna talk to your momma.” Donna nodded to her kids, letting them run off before standing awkwardly beside Winnie and Tig, unsure what to say. 

Donna’s eyes darted between Tig and Win, a brow raising at their closeness. Something going on there? Donna didn’t take Winnie for someone who would be interested in the likes of… Tig. But the smiles shared, ice blue searching ocean blue as they laughed with one another. “I’m so glad you made it, Donna. I know this was really important to Ope so you guys can bond.” Win offered, her voice lower as they sat around a picnic table. 

  
  


She nodded, half off guard. “Yeah, he, uh, mentioned this wasn’t a club thing.” Her eyes darted to Tig, to the Kutte that sat on his body. Didn’t mean that she hadn’t seen several Sons walk around the place like they owned it. 

  
  


“Oh no, it’s not.” Tig muttered, smiling. “We’re just here for support.” Donna didn’t seem sold as her eyes darted back to Winnie, almost as though she didn’t want to speak to her or Tig at all. 

  
  


Win rested her hand on Tig’s forearm, arms turning to him. “Hey, listen, why don’t you head back to the Chilli stand, I’ll meet you there.” He looked on reluctantly before pulling away, leaving her behind. 

  
  


It was quiet for a moment as they watched Tiggy return to the booth, his eyes returning back to watch her as she sat with Donna. “Look, Gemma and Jax have already spoken to me about this; I don’t need you to lecture me too.” The woman in question hissed harshly, despite not having an unkind look in her gaze. 

  
  


Win sighed, leaning on her hands. “I’m only speaking to you because Ope asked me to, we both know you’ve all been through hell and back these past few years - I don’t want you to feel like that now he’s out, there’s no reason for it.” 

  
  


Donna stared at her. “The only reason we’re in this position is because of the club; if he hadn’t been there, we’d still have money.” Winnie sighed, unsure how to talk her through this as she shook her head, sucking on the ice pole. “We’re up to our eyeballs in debt, Winnie; while the club got rich.” 

  
  


“And did the club not watch your backs while he was inside?” She reminded her, no malice in h

er tone. “Opie’s trying his hardest, I’ve offered him help.” Donna went to protest, but Winnie held her hand up. “I’m not the club, Donna. I just care about you and the Kids. I’d hate to see them lose their home.” 

  
  


“We don’t need your charity.” Course she doesn’t, but it was hardly that. “Like I said, I already told Gemma this.” 

  
  


“Okay. I get it, but just think about Ope and the kids, okay? You might not need the ‘charity’, but they might. Kids grow, Ope eats like a tank… things get pricey.” Standing up, she hesitated. “You have my number, you can call whenever.” Leaving them behind, Winnie returned to the both; her brow deeper than before lips still locked around the ice pop. 

  
  


“Everything okay, sweetie?” Gemma asked. 

  
  


She forced a smile. “Course.”

The booth had been a roaring success with the crowd as families had passed through, the pots of Chilli running down faster than they could almost be replenished. Her Aunt Luann was constantly chattering about something, enticing men in with her conversation, and… Line of work. Gemma had run a tight ship, instructing the Old Ladies with what they needed and making several runs to the local store for bread, and sauces. 

Winnie remained by the pot, loading up the plates as they came through; a spoonful for each as she waited patiently. She felt a little out of the loop with everyone having been so friendly with one another, but Gemma and Luann kept her involved, and Tig lingered on the table beside her like a shadow, putting his input in when needed. But, she couldn’t help the flicker of her eyes to the little cell that sat between them. 

It was all a waiting game, a test of her patience as her foot tapped against the floor; mind desperate to drift anywhere but her cellphone. Gemma could see that she was distracted, but chose not to comment on it as the flicker of her dark eyes continued to return to her. “Win.” Gem called out, the girl turning at her name. 

  
  


“Yeah?” She asked. 

  
  


“You doing okay?” Win nodded, forcing a smile. “You need a break sweetie?” 

  
  


Her head shook. “Not right now, I’m gonna wait for a call.” The day seemed to pass by lazily, and Winnie almost grew disheartened as she scrapped the last remnants of another pot, ready to swap out for another. Something buzzed, her head turning to the sound as she landed on her phone. 

  
  


Win’s teeth dug into her lip as she saw the name flash across the screen, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. A shot of excitement ran through her, icy eyes lifting as she glanced around. “I gotta take this.” She muttered to her aunt, slipping from the pot before taking a few steps away. Her back lent against the stone, fingers flipping open the phone before accepting the call. “Hello?” She asked coyly. 

  
  


“Christ, thought you weren’t going to answer.” The smile turned cheeky at the sound of the voice, Chibs very much holding his word. “Was about to hop on my bike and check you weren’t dead myself.” 

  
  


“Very funny.” She muttered, chuckling slightly. “I’ll have you know my station lets me keep away from those perving dads, no chance of being chatted to death.” Though Tig had certainly tried. 

  
  


A deep breath rattled the speaker. “That’s good to hear.” It was? “Your da’ll kill half the town just to find out who did it.” Oh, she thought, shaking her head. 

  
  


“Yeah, I suppose he would.” She said dejectedly, the toe of her heels beginning to dig into the pebbles. Maybe she’d thought this all up, put more into it than maybe Chibs had meant. He was just being friendly, fuck. "Not quite, Tig’s been a guardian of sorts for today. No one’s dared to go an inch near me.” Rather handy when one of the cops got a little too friendly over the burger grill; Winnie in no mood to discuss what she was up to over the weekend, and why she was at the fair. She didn’t talk to cops - in any aspect, she was distrustful of them. 

  
  


The line went quiet for a moment, Win waiting patiently. “Tig’s protecting you?” He asked, almost as though he was unsure.

  
  


She nodded, despite him not being able to see it. “Yeah, a wimpy cop keeps giving him an eyeful for it - probably thinks something’s going to break out." But that wasn't likely, the club was on best behaviour for Gemma today. "What about you? How's the north treating you?" 

  
  


He chuckled, smiling slightly. "As well as expected, the Irish are bastards." The word brought a quick grin to her lips, the way he pronounced it… Win shook her head, glancing to the floor beneath her. "But they have good beer." 

  
  


"That's what you've been doing then? Drinking? While the others have been working so hard…" At Patch-Over buried deep in young women. Her tone was teasing enough for him to pick up. 

  
  


"Someone's got to take one for the team, Winnie. It just had to be me." The sound of her name falling from his mouth had her toes curling, a warmth rushing to her cheeks as her hand found the brick. 

  
  


She snorted. "I'm sure, such responsibility for someone so selfless." Win teased. "Maybe you need to be reimbursed for your time." 

  
  


"Don't get cheeky with me, Lass. I'll have you over my knee faster than you can cry out for help." A brow rose. Being thrown over Chibs' knee? Completely docile to his hand? Sounded like a good time. 

  
  


"And how do you know I wouldn't like that?" She muttered, voice low and breathy as her eyes were blown wide. 

  
  


A shaky sigh. "Don’t start that, we're in no position to finish it." Winnie smirked, maybe she wasn't completely stabbing in the dark. 

  
  


"You'd want to?" She asked, glancing across the field. She could see Jax and Opie talking in the distance, Donna and the kids sitting a little away on a bench; everyone seemed wrapped up in their own little worlds. This wasn't the place to have this kind of conversation, but she'd push for it if she had to. 

  
  


"You're Happy's Old Lady." He dodged. 

  
  


Win smiling. "I'm no one's Old Lady. Happy has a girl, he's just using me for cover to keep her away from you lot." She admitted, pulling on one of her pale strands. "He's my friend, just like you are." Maybe Chibs wasn't the same kind of friend, and Happy was more of a best friend; but the term was an umbrella. 

  
  


"And that's what friends do? Pretend to sleep with one another?" Some of it wasn't pretending. 

  
  


She shrugged. "Depends on the friend." The term hung in the air for a moment, the quiet snaking between them. 

  
  


"And if I don't want to pretend?" Her heart beat like a drum in her chest, a flush running along her cheeks as her hand touched the wall. 

  
  


"I believe I could accommodate." A low whistle rippled across the speakers, her lip tugging up. "Are you sure you could handle it?" 

  
  


Chibs smirked. "I may be old but my heart ain't gonna give out just yet." She could see Gemma talk to Luann, Tig already keeping an eye on her as he bit into a Chilli Dog.

  
  


"Not what I meant." Winnie pressed. "There's a reason no one goes near me, and it isn't because I'm unpleasant." It's the band of protective family members that swarmed her flies any time someone even attempted. It's why she had kept things with Happy so quiet. 

  
  


“It’s how it should be.” Should be? What did that mean? Was there something wrong with her? That she would complicate matters further with everyone. The icy blue rolled. “You being kept far away from everyone.” 

  
  


“What’s that supposed to mean?” Was her father trying to keep her away from the main town? Confined to the MC? 

  
  


A shaky sigh filled the air, Winnie pressing the speaker closer to her ear. “Just means he don’t want you mixing with the wrong people - the wrong men.”

  
  


Teeth sunk into her lip, debating for a moment. “That include you?” She asked quietly, glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one was near. She really did not need another reaction like Opie’s, no doubt his concern growing if she so much as looked at Chibs. But Winnie wanted to test the water, to make her own decisions in life. 

  
  


Another silence, the weight gnawing at her insides. “Aye.” Aye? 

  
  


Her eyebrows shot to her hairline, more confused than before at his words. "So you don't want me to accommodate?" 

  
  


"That's not what I'm saying," Chibs explained, a clarity filling his voice. "I'm a big boy who can handle his own business; it doesn't matter to me whether you're untouchable or not." Untouchable? 

  
  


“Did Ope tell you to stay away?” She asked, the icy blue already searching the field for the giant as her jaw locked. If he interfered at all, he’d get an earful from her - and probably a kicked shin too. "Or my dad." 

  
  


He sighed. "Not explicitly." But they'd hinted at it. Win rose from the bricks, eyes already searching the field for Opie. She was gonna kill him. "Don't you worry your pretty, little head about this, alright? This stays between us." He reasoned. 

  
  


Fat chance of that, but Win nodded anyway, anger clear in her gaze. "I'll be back Tuesday, think you want to host a welcome home party for two then?" 

  
  


Winnie laughed. “I'll try what I can, I'll be on desk work at T.M." 

  
  


"I'll come for coffee." The sweet smile rose, Win nodding anyway as her arms wrapped around herself. 

  
  


"Okay, I'll have it ready for you." Chibs lips drew up as his eyes searched out, nodding. 

  
  
"See you then, sweet girl." Win muttered a bye before the call ended, a shot of glee bubbling inside. Chibs was interested, Chibs was  _ interested _ . Her cheeks hurt from the smile, the blue too alight with laughter; she felt like a schoolgirl. 


	10. I flinch when you touch me, I fear it is him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I flinch when you touch me, I fear it is him  
> \- Page 37

Winnie patted at the pale strands as she left that morning from Opie’s dorm, a smile on her lips, and a little extra something to her outfit. She’d spent a little extra time in front of the mirror; perfecting red lips, smoothing down stray strands, and making sure the mom jeans she had picked suited the white pumps that held her up. A cigarette sat within Winnie’s fingers, already lit with a trail of thin, pale smoke rising. 

Her lips locked around the tip, taking a deep drag with nervous fingers as she tugged on the door; the cool early morning air embracing her. Winnie exhaled, smiling slightly as she bit down on her lip, crossing the lot. It was her turn to open the garage, ready for when the mechanics would eventually turn up, stumbling in with a hangover. She needed the coffee pot on, to save herself the hassle of grumpy workers. 

The keys jingled between small fingers, her eyes falling to the office door as she pushed the key in, and twisted. The scent of car oil and air fresheners hit her nose as she stepped in; door left open, and keys on the side. Placing the cigarette back between her lips, she quickly whirled to life the computer, inputting the stupid password. 

_ bikesRlyf _

She didn’t even want to know who it was who came up with that. Clicking open the orders page, and grasping the appointment book from the side, Win set it up for the rest of the day. 15 booked appointments across five mechanics, and the books open for more walk-ins. After finishing the cigarette, and stubbing it into the ashtray; Winnie turned her attention to the shop floor. 

The shutters needed to be opened, and she knew one of those bastards was tricky; requiring a firm hand on it’s chains. Opening the blind and sorting out the coffee pot on her way to it, she fiddled around with the buttons. One of them would be to open the shutters, she just wasn’t sure which one. Win hit the green one, seeing one of the shutters rolling open, but the other two remaining shut. She pursed her lips, worn out tags sitting above them. 

This place needed a serious update. Flicking the two switches, she prayed it would be the right ones before going to the one she knew would be dodgy. “Anybody home?” She frowned, unable to recognise the voice. 

  
  


“Over here.” She called out, holding out a hand before she grasped the chains. “I’ll be with you in a minute.” Win tugged them, the metal giving a horrific shriek before they began to move, shuddering their way to the top. A smart dressed man stood in the doorway, his face one she hadn’t seen before as she wrapped her arms around herself, frowning at him. “I’m sorry, we’re not open yet; but I can book you in for later today.” 

  
  


He shook his head, pulling the sunglasses from his eyes before pushing them into his shirt. “No, I’m not here about the car.” 

  
  


Winnie’s head cocked. “Then why are you here?” There were no men on the lot yet if there was trouble, but she knew a few of the guys still lingered in the Dorms. 

  
  


“Oh, I’m just new in the area; thought I’d introduce myself.” New to the area so he’d come here? Winnie felt uncomfortable, her stomach churning nervously. “Josh Kohn, and you are?” 

  
  


She swallowed, taking his hand with a grimace. “Winnie Morrow.” His hand felt clammy against hers, Winnie itching to pull it from his grasp. Cold blue eyes scanned her face before dropping over her clothes, Win taking a step back. She knew what men like him were like, and she feared them. 

  
  


“Morrow. Clay’s daughter?” She gave a nod, another step put between them. She was going to put herself in that office and lock the door until someone she trusted came here. “Your brother is Jax.” Win kept silent. “Sorry for being inquisitive, I’ve just heard your family being mentioned around here.” 

  
  


“Yes, Teller-Morrow is a big part of town. We work on almost 25% of the cars in this area, the other 75% either new, or soon to come through these doors for some kind of work.” She iterated, trying to keep friendly but failing. Josh took a step forward, her head turning slightly as she took another step back. “Look, I’ll need you to leave because I have to continue opening this place up, and I’m not being found responsible for any personnel damages.” 

  
  


He smirked. “Understood; but before I go, I just wanted to ask if you know a Dr. Tara Knowles, if she’d been around here lately.” She kept quiet, refusing to speak as she shot him a glare. “By that, I’ll take it as a yes. As a federal agent, I’m going to make you aware of the charges filed against you. By, a, uh, Duggen. Maybe two.” Her blood ran cold, the look of pleasantry falling from her face. 

  
  


Win took a step back, looking like a deer in headlights. “How do you know that? They should have been dropped.” 

  
  


What was a federal agent doing here? And what did he want with Tara? And how did he know about her? “I do my research. Those charges are easily picked up and dropped with a phone call, aren’t they? Daddy Duggen being the head and all.” The ice blue met cold grey, jaw tensing. “What would he do knowing you were here? I have a feeling those charges would easily be pressed, and you’d be brought back there.” 

  
  


“Is there a point to this?” Cause she really did not have the time or the patience to be threatened. 

  
  


His head shook. “Just make sure Jax keeps his distance, yeah? She’s taken.” Giving her a wave, he left, eyes running along the garage as Winnie stood there, stoic. What the fuck was this? She thought, panic rushing her system. She needed to speak to Jax, or maybe Tara. Whichever one could shed some light on this situation. 

  
  


Winnie turned to the office, fingers digging in her pocket for her phone before pulling it out, fingers already clicking on the buttons. It rang for a moment, the ice blue watching through the shutters as the agent got back in his car, sending her a wave. She swallowed deeply, the call connecting. “Winnifred?” 

  
  


Her spine shuddered, teeth digging into her lips. “Brian, uh, hi.” 

  
  


“What is it? I’m busy.” The tone was short and curt, hopefully the call wouldn’t drive him further up the wall. 

  
  


“I had an agent drop by me today, he said something about those charges in Alabama - threatened me with them, really.” If there was one thing Brian hated, it was people thinking they had any influence over his family - and that included Winnie. “I thought we agreed to drop them.” 

  
  


He cleared his throat, the anger tangible. “The charges are dropped, we agreed that as long as you followed the rules - like you have - they would not influence your life.” He explained, Winnie’s body only growing tenser. “Ignore him for now, but if he gives you anymore trouble, let me know; I’ll sort it.” 

  
  


“Thank you, I know this puts a strain on your work.” He hummed, no doubt clenching his hand on the desk. She’d watched him long enough, witnessed it when she was made to stand in front of that ugly, mahogany desk. 

  
  


“Anything to keep your mother happy, if that’s all, I need to get back to work.” The call ended before she could get another word out, a weighty sigh slipping from her lips as she dropped it onto the side. She’d need another cigarette at this rate. 

  
  


Slipping her way to the seat, Winnie slumped down, hand resting on her forehead as she closed her eyes. “Is it too early for coffee?” A voice asked, the ice blue darting up at the familiar voice. Chibs stood in the doorway, the corners of his lips tugged up. 

  
  


She smiled, shaking her head as the tension in the room became tenfold. “No, best way to start your day.” He shut the door behind him before crossing the office, Winnie standing up to meet him. “See you made it home okay, you’re in one piece.”

  
  


“Aye. I was only trailing a guy, no sense of danger there.” That was good to hear. Icy blue met warm brown, flickering between one to the other as her hands moved forward, sitting on his kutte. The leather was soft between her fingertips, the scent of smoke lingering in the fabric as they flattened, sitting on his chest. Everything was done with a sense of hesitancy, this whole thing having been spoken about on the phone after a few short days of spared glances, and quiet conversations. 

  
  


Her stomach flipped, cheeks warming under his gaze. “You could have at least made it exciting…” She muttered. “Could have made me worry about your safety.” 

  
  


He grinned wickedly, pulling her flush against him, their fronts pressed together as they eyed one another. “Is that what you get off to?” 

  
  


“Might help.” She whispered, leaning up to her tiptoes. Their faces were but a few inches apart, breath mingling in the space between them. 

  
  


“Then I was neck deep in it the whole time.” He teased, sweeping her up into his arms and sitting her on the desk, files getting squashed beneath her. “Bullets, blood, the lot.” 

  
  


Winnie smiled, hand reaching up, fingers threading into his hair. “Uhuh, I’m sure.” Chibs leaned forward, nose running along hers. It was all foreplay; hooded eyes, bated breath, the two were getting off to the tension of it. “About that coffee…” She muttered, going to pull away before Chibs stopped her, grabbing her by the waist and holding her still. 

  
  


“A kiss first, for returning unscathed.” A knock pounded behind them, Winnie giggling as Chibs sighed. They waited for a moment, neither moving to answer it before the pounding resumed. “Maybe not then.” Pushing him away, she slipped from the edge of the table, his hand giving hers a squeeze as he turned to the coffee pot. Pulling open the door, Winnie took a deep breath, a demure smile on plump lips. 

  
  


A flustered Gemma stood on the doorstep, her dark eyes turning between Winnie and Chibs before stepping in, sighing. “Jesus christ, can you not hear me knock?” She asked, confused why it took so long. 

  
  


“Sorry, Gem. We were on the shop floor, Chibs was looking for something.” The older woman nodded, dumping her bag and coat to the side, and sighing. 

  
  


“Oh shit, is that coffee?” She motioned to the cup in Chibs hand, the man nodded. “Thanks, you’re a doll.” She took it from him, drinking greedily. 

  
  


Win hid a smile behind bitten lips, Chibs turning to her in surprise. “Everything okay, Gemma? You’re here early, I thought you’d have most of the day free.” Win took the seat at the desk, crossing her legs before leaning one arm on the desk; her eyes already searching for a pack of cigarettes. 

  
  


“Yeah, things didn’t go as planned. I got finances to still work out from that explosion last week.” Right, she thought Bobby was the secretary? “Only just been able to get my hands on the right paperwork.” 

  
  


“You need me to do anything? I’m not that good at math, but I know my way around a calculator.” Chibs placed down a cup in front of her, Winnie smiling thankfully as she noticed the dash of cream he’d put in it, a cup in his hands. 

  
  


Gemma shook her head. “No baby, I’ll be okay. Why don’t you go finish your coffee with Chibs, and then come back? By that point, I’ll be ready to set everything up.” 

  
  


“Okay.” Win muttered before standing, pressing a kiss to Gemma’s cheek. “You need anything, just hollar.” The pack of smokes fit easily in her pocket, the cup nestled in sleeve hidden hands as she followed Chibs out, the two crossing the lot. “Did she seem fine to you?” 

  
  


He dared a peek back, Gemma setting herself in the chair with her feet up. “Yeah, why? You think she isn’t?” 

  
  


“I don’t know, just feels a little off to me.” He shrugged. They settled themselves on the little bench outside of the MC, Win passing over a cigarette before taking her own, running it along her lip before settling it between her lips. She couldn’t help her eyes drifting back to the office, at the thought of Gemma being off, but maybe it was just her who thought it. And she certainly didn’t want to press. 

  
  


“Ay, don’t worry about it. She’s a grown woman, she can handle whatever it is running through her mind.” Chibs brought her back, offering a light. 

  
  


Win lent forward, taking it before inhaling; speaking around it. “I know, I just… worry, that’s all; but you’re right, she’s a grown woman.” 

  
  


“Exactly, I am right.” He reiterated, reaching out to give her hand a squeeze. “Are  _ you _ okay? You seemed a little… off this morning too when I walked in.” The ice blue darted to meet the brown, fingers pulling the cigarette away from her lips as she pushed back a pale lock. 

  
  


She was off this morning. That whole conversation with the agent, and then needing the reassurance from Brian… Winnie’s jaw clenched, swallowing. “Have ATF been sniffing around recently? Prying into business?” 

  
  


Chibs pulled back, back straight. “Why’d you ask?” 

  
  


Win shrugged, trying to play it down. “I don’t know. Some guy swung by this morning, wanted to know about Tara and Jax.” She could see the frown on Chibs’ face, his brows lowering. “It wouldn’t normally concern me, but he… he seemed to know things.” 

  
  


“What kind of things?” He asked, seriousness having taken over any of the lightheartedness he had before. She felt bad, but this could lead on to seriouser things. Winnie hesitated, unsure if she should tell him or not. 

  
  


It wouldn’t hurt to not tell him the whole truth, right? “He threatened me with telling Brian that I was here, and that’ll cause serious… complications.” Like being arrested for something she didn’t do. 

  
  


Chibs flew from the table, Win’s eyes widening as she grasped him. “He threatened you? Who was he?” 

  
  


“No! No!” I can handle it!” She cried out, the sound of bikes roaring as members began to pull up. 

  
  


“Like hell you can! Threatening you becomes club business, Winnie. This ain’t nothing.” She sighed, eyes closing as footsteps hurried over. 

  
  


“What’s happening here?” Her father asked, blue eyes darting between the pair. Chibs was near fuming from anger, and Winnie looking like she wanted to be anywhere but here. His brows urged, looking at Chibs for an answer. “Well?” 

  
  


The brown darted back to Winnie before returning to his President. “Winnie got threatened by an ATF agent this morning, they’ve got some kind of dirt on her.” 

  
  


“What?!” Clay asked, his attention turning to his daughter. 

  
  


“It’s not that big of a deal!” She hissed, glaring. “His name was Kohl or something, threatened to call Brian, that’s it.” She tried to diffuse, hand moving to clutch his arm. “Brian is happy for me to remain in El Paso for now, nothing’s going to change that, I spoke to him.” 

  
  


Chibs snorted, Clay shaking his head. “It don’t matter. That little prick thought it was okay to use some kind of leverage against you - that ain’t nothin’ in my books, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” 

  
  


Winnie’s jaw tensed, anger filling her. She should have just kept quiet about the whole thing. “So what? What are you going to do? Go down there, have a chat?” She asked sarcastically. “That’s only going to make things worse, then he really will phone Brian.”

  
  


“You’re damn right we’re going down there, break his fingers so he can’t phone him.” Chibs put in, Clay nodding. 

  
  


“You’re not just another person on the street, Winnie. You’re part of this family, and he’s got to learn.” She shook her head, frustrated as she stared at two bone heads. What part of it would make things worse, did he not understand? 

  
  


Throwing the cigarette to the floor, and stomping on it, she grabbed her phone. “Do not fucking do anything, do you understand me? This is my shit, I can sort it myself. I don’t need Daddy and his Left Hand Man to do it for me.” Winnie began to stomp away, praying her keys were in her bag so she didn’t have to do the walk of shame back to grab them. That would really be the cherry on top of this. 

  
  


“Where are you going?” Clay called out, her body not stopping. 

  
  


“For a drive! Fine someone else to cover the desk!” Winnie shouted, sparing a glance over her shoulder. Her father was angry, his jaw locked before he began to run, her eyes widening before she picked up the pace. He was gaining on her, the boots thumping on the pavement as another set joined them. 

  
  


“Clay!” Chibs tried to call out after him. “Clay, stop!” The car was close, almost in touching distance as she shoved the key in, wrenching the door open, and slamming herself down; fumbling for a moment to start it. Her father’s hand hit the door, Winnie’s hand slipping on the lock to keep him out.

  
  


Her shoulders rose and fell rapidly, lungs unable to draw in a deep breath as her hand clenched, eyes squeezing tight. “Ugh!” She groaned, flashbacks of grabbing hands and similar chases filling her mind as another thud hit the glass. Hands everywhere, itching at her skin, clawing at it. She had to breathe, she needed to breathe, but her lungs were refusing it. Toes curled in patent stilettos, body curling in on itself, trying to protect her from invisible hands. 

Tennis shoes hitting the concrete ground, a white school skirt dancing around her thighs. Winnie couldn’t out run it then, shivering and scared at sixteen. She could still feel the stinging slap on her cheek, at the pain that radiated when her face was shoved against the car door. How hard Winnie had pushed back, how much she had begged. “ _ No, no, don’t please! _ ” 

  
  


Clay froze as he watched her, jaw falling open as his brows dipped. Silent tears were streaming down her cheeks, her body still, locked into place as white knuckles clenched ever tighter on the steering wheel. What was happening to her? Chibs hesitated at the edge, fear in his dark eyes. “Gemma!” He cried out, turning in place to look to the office. “Gemma!” The Matriarch moved to the door, confused as she looked to them, their attention returning to the car. 

  
  


Winnie had locked herself in tight, no one able to get in and out. The heels crossed the lot, hurried in their steps as her eyes widened. “Get away from the car, all of you. Go sit in the office, I’ll get her out.” These breakdowns had been a frequent reminder through both child and teen hood, just how much her mother had fucked her up; Gemma helping her breath through choking tears, holding clenched hands. 

  
  


“What’s wrong with her?” Clay asked, not wanting to move anywhere. 

  
  


“You’ve probably spooked her, that’s all. This is Forella’s doing, this. Those hands she raised…” Her head shook. “Kids like Winnie don’t process it; you’ve probably sent her hurtling back ten years in the past.” 

  
  


“Shit.” Clay muttered, head shaking at his own idiocy. ”I’m not leaving her, I gotta make up for this.” 

  
  


Gemma sighed. “Well if you gotta, at least let me get her out of the car first; before a lack of oxygen gets to her head and she really does pass out.” Clay took a step back, worry filling his gaze as Chibs returned with a metal sheet, Gemma forcing it into the window and down, the door opening. The cold air hit Winnie’s face in an instant, panicked eyes fluttering open as Gemma reached forward, hands cupping her cheeks. “Hey, hey, relax, I got you.” 

  
  


Winnie was desperate to get her hands away, but Gemma gripped them tight; the ice blue finally settling on familiar warm brown. She swallowed, any fight falling from her hands as she slumped, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” She whimpered, head falling to Gemma’s shoulder as the woman took her in her embrace, giving her a squeeze. 

  
  


“It’s okay sweetie, come on, just breathe.” Win’s eyes slammed shut, as her nose buried itself into Gemma’s neck, her perfume as familiar as it was to her when she was a tot wandering around. “Forella messed you up real bad, I know.” If only Win could tell her the truth, she thought, clutching her tighter. If only she could tell anyone the truth, then maybe none of this would happen. 

  
  


“Hey, baby.” Clay muttered as he slipped down onto his knees in front of her, the blue that they shared softening as he waited. 

  
  


Her head shook, teeth digging into her lip for a moment. “I’m sorry dad, I’m so sorry.” The whimper was enough to break his heart as she reached out for him, Clay careful in wrapping his arms around her. There was always something about her father that made her hold a level of comfort and security, the arms that he wrapped her in feeling like the earth was grounding her, like nothing could touch her. 

  
  


Winnie felt like that small five year old in his grasp, the tears free to flow down her cheeks as she squeezed him tight. “Hey, none of that. It’s me that should be apologising.” Gemma was quick to pull Chibs away, leaving father and daughter to heal. 

  
  


“I don’t know what happened, normally it wouldn’t bother me but…” Things had been getting on her plate, and a lack of control made Winnie feel like she was slipping. She’d always had methods of coping, of things she could do to make it feel as though the hands weren’t touching her, to make herself undesirable. But the reminder of what could be done, how her life could change… 

  
  


“Don’t worry about it; my only concern right now is you. What do you need, baby? You want to take that drive? You need some time to think?” He asked, pushing back the pale strands from her face as he stared at her. 

  
  


Win shrugged. “Maybe, I don’t know.” 

  
  


He nodded. “Well, let me do the club meeting, and then if you still want that drive, I’ll have the prospect trail you, alright?”

  
  


“Alright; thanks dad.” He smiled, thumb running along her cheek before pressing a kiss to her forehead. He could feel that she was wound tight, that tension sat heavy in her body, and the way her eyes screamed of a tiredness not even sleep could touch. Clay let her go, sighing as he watched her. He didn’t know what to do. 


End file.
